~What did God reveal to me~Part 2Matthew 7:1-5 ~ Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgement you judge, you will be judged, and with what measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me remove the speck from your eye'; and look, a plank is in your eye. Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.I had unwittingly placed myself in the judges seat. I had already passed sentence, she was guilty! She was guilty because the plank in my eye blinded me to my own unforgiving, judgemental, prideful self. I was so self -centered, self-serving and self-righteous. After all, how dare she turn up her nose at me! I studied the Bible more, I prayed more, I attended church more (and took notes!)  went to more Bible studies, blah, blah, blah! And she said so many things that hurt me! Whah! Empty words.  I was a hypocrite, saying how much Jesus had changed me, how He had forgiven my sins, how He filled me with His love for others, how He had made me a forgiving person. . .liar, liar, liar!Mark 11:25 ~ And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses.  BUT if you do not forgive, niether will your Father in heaven forgive you your trespasses.  If I didn't learn how to forgive my sister, I would not be forgiven for my sins. God is a fair God.He showed me how uncompassionate I was being, and how selfish. I never really, one time, stopped to listen to the pleas in her voice or words. I never "listened" with my heart or love. This woman, my sister, was sad, lonely and needy. She needed someone to acknowledge her feelings, they needed to be important to those she loved. I've known her most of our lives. I know what she went through growing up. Her father was abusive, mentally and sometimes physically. She was made to feel useless, like she and her siblings were a burden (including my husband) to their father, she was made to feel stupid and that she would never accomplish anything in her life except being a loser. All of these memories came flooding back to me. . .and my heart broke for her.  I seen her in a new light, in God's light.She was unsure of herself and what her purpose was. I realized that her negative attitude and "know-it-all attitude was her survival instinct, her way of feeling useful and confident in herself. She needed to be told, "you are so smart" or "you have accomplished so much" very badly. She was hiding her pain through negativity.God opened my eyes to see into her heart, to see her as a little girl yearning for her fathers love, attention and acceptance. Something she had never recieved. She learned negativity, she learned to hide her feelings, she learned to prove her father wrong at the expense of a bitter heart filled with fear of failure. She was a prisoner and didn't even know it.I was so remorseful. I was so ashamed of myself. I prayed God would show me how to heal this relationship, how to be a true friend, how to NOT judge her and finally how to forgive her and love her unconditionally. I needed to work on ME, and let God work on her.next entryForgiveness and Healing