Playing the crying game. . .everything makes me cry. The dogs dying because of the tainted food, talking about a movie that was touching, good memories, friends in need.
I've been thinking today, what my reaction might be if I am diagnosed with MS, right now I feel like I would be relieved, but when it comes right down to it, reality would slap me in the face. I think I would be devastated.
Then I think what if the diagnosis is negative? How will I feel about that? I don't think there will be any relief, because there would be no answers to my symptoms. I'm afraid I'd feel angry, or just scream! Like I was going crazy! I would question myself and what I am going through, if maybe I am imagining these symptoms or it being phychosematic.
I feel so exhausted and so weak, (physically and mentally.) If only I wouldn't have to think at all for just one day!
I've been thinking today, what my reaction might be if I am diagnosed with MS, right now I feel like I would be relieved, but when it comes right down to it, reality would slap me in the face. I think I would be devastated.
Then I think what if the diagnosis is negative? How will I feel about that? I don't think there will be any relief, because there would be no answers to my symptoms. I'm afraid I'd feel angry, or just scream! Like I was going crazy! I would question myself and what I am going through, if maybe I am imagining these symptoms or it being phychosematic.
I feel so exhausted and so weak, (physically and mentally.) If only I wouldn't have to think at all for just one day!
Replies
Maybe you just needed a good cry? Sometimes emotions just build to the point of saturation,they overwhelm us.Our pressure relief valve pops off & it doesn\'t whistle like a teapot-we cry instead.Maybe a way to rid our brains of toxins? Anyway-no matter what our diagnosis\'; we are all still our very own,special people.The illness does not change the soul or heart.It just gives a name to what\'s wrong.I saw many Dr\'s for many yrs before one finally listened & ran the right tests.Godspeed in your quest. Hope you have a good sleep.
May I join you? ;o) Actually, now. This is one of the times that being older is better. Of course, we still have to deal with these \"symptoms,\" whether they are MS or not. And, unfortunately, If it is MS, that really will not simplify things. Even for people who have MS, assuming everything is from MS is bad. I think having MS just makes things more complicated. Have you noticed here, no matter what symptom someone asks about, there is always someone else who has it?
I really like what littlewing says. Take care!
Littlewing is SO very right! Everything has built up in you for so long, it\'s spilling over! Your emotions are on overload & needed that relief. I hope sleep came to you. And the answers do too. Love Ya, Peg
Sherie,
I haven\'t been officially diagnosed either and I feel that same \"crazy\" ambivalence. If I were diagnosed, I would feel relief and perhaps insurmountable despair. Go figure? I add a different spin to the psychosomatic spin. I really believe that we attract our reality through our thoughts. I have recently seen this movie \"{The secret: Laws of attraction\" that Oprah Winfrey talked about. So now I can judge myself for creating this \"disease\" out of my negative body thoughts, world view etc. My symptoms are getting to big to ignore, so it forces the issue! Good/ bad news. So, I cry when I can, cause I feel better when I do and can see things fresher. Hope it helps you that way. Either way I send support.
Hang in there!!! I was lucky in the fact that when my symptoms got bad I went to the ER and the great ER doc did a ct scan and then an MRI and had me admitted. The neurologist came in at midnight and did the spinal and then ruled out everything else. I got lucky it happened so fast I didn\'t have time to think about it. I didn\'t have time to prepare myself. Just cry if you need too. Hang in there.
Sherie, I have had a diagnosis of M.S. for almost 15 years and I am about your age right now. I know everyone\'s experience is different, but the L\'hermittes sign was the worst when I was first diagnosed. I had it for a few weeks and only had very mild episodes after that. I went through crying and even depression in the beginning, then I went through a time of just denying it and plugging on with life until I could deny it no longer. When I got married my husband encouraged me to do more research and do something about my symptoms. (The M.S. drugs were not the answer for me). After having my kids and suffering post-partum relapses, I really got serious. I accepted that I have a diagnosis of M.S., but I also believe that these symptoms of M.S. may be different causes for different people. As knowledgeable and helpful as neurologist and other medical people can be, there was only so much they could do. I wanted to find out what my body was trying to tell me, and for me, I already knew that I had major food hypersensitivities. With God\'s help, I really believe that he is leading me in a direction that is bringing relief of symptoms (and I hope complete healing). I believe it is important to face what you are experiencing and that may mean a lot of grief and crying. I know that you are a believer, and crying out to God and trusting Him is makes all the difference in the journey. I have been lead on a road of changing my diet/lifestyle. I don\'t know what is best for you, but God does. God Bless, Ronda