Today I'm not feeling very good about myself. It's 2:36pm and I have a 3pm class. Into to Business and then after that i have to call my mom and see if she will give me money. I'm so frustrated. I wanna hurt myself so bad. My depression is really bad today. I wanna just go home and cuddle in my blanket and listen to music to get away from reality. My car still isnt working and I am not as motivated as i want to be in school. My girlfriend is letting her service dog Tobee go which is a little hard for me but i know that it's the right thing to do. I love him so much, it just makes me want to cut more. I wanna see blood on my arm so bad. It's been so hard to fight the temptation. I dont know how anyone can help me. I feel hopeless and use less about myself. It's raining outside right now and it's all ugly. That doesnt make things better for me either. OHHH MYY GOD.. GRRR it's coming so fast. I dont know what to do anymore. GRRR.