I am so sad and depressed and can’t stop crying. I went to Medix college today and felt hopeful, but my dream of going back to school is shattered yet again. You can’t do part-time which would give me time to spread out the payments. And it is $11,000 or 1,200 a month for 11 months. I don’t understand why family couldn’t lend me the money or take out a loan for me….but I realize they don’t have to. I don’t know if I’ll ever get out of this pit. I’ve been on disability for 4 years now. I want to go back to school for a better job and not some dumb fucking underpaid overworked retail job. This just makes me want to kill myself....I just can't cope. What do I have left?. I won’t be able to save enough money for years if even that. In October, it is my sons 18th birthday and I will lose government money….child tax benefit, ODSP and CPP….all will be reduced. I just feel there is nothing left to live for. I don’t want to be on disability the rest of my life. I wanted to work towards getting off disability and making good money.
Replies
I\'m so sorry that you\'re struggling, Mystie. I know it\'s horrible to feel like everything is hopeless. Regarding Medix, do they provide any financial aid? Could you get financial assistance through the OSAP program? I realize I don\'t know you well yet, but you seem like a very determined lady. I believe that you can find a way to make your dream come true. I\'m not giving up on you, so please don\'t give up on yourself. Hugs, Judy
I can\'t get any financial assistance or OSAP because I had to go bankrupt and was being pushed towards doing it. I completely regret now because now I can\'t get a loan to go to school. I just can\'t take all this shit anymore.
Thank you for being so caring!!
Hi mystie, it wd be nice to go back to school, I\'ve job hinted for years, list a good state job, due to mental illness, tried court reporting school, lost a lot of money w that..sigh..it\'s not easy...I know you don\'t want to start with a low paying job, but the truth is, for me...my self esteem is low, so an easy job, w nice people, like where I am now, is ok. Pay is low, but w child support, and go go dancing once a week I survive.
I hope u can try something that works for u. Just having a schedule the pastonth feels better, before that I wanted to die from the feeling of uselessness, loneliness, and feeling like a used sex object by men. I\'m sorry I know I should be cheering you up, but u have to keep searching, even 15onutes a day. U r probably eligible for catholic charities Job assistance coaching thru the state, give them a call. You are worth the effort my friend. Your son is older, it is your time now. Gentle healing hugs
Also thanks for checking out my photos.
i dont understand why disability wont help you go to school they do here ..............i am so sorry you are feeling so dowen ....my heart realy goes out to you .............i will keep you in my prayers ...............hopping you feel better just because you are on disabulitie doesent mean you are not a worithy person it just means you need help i have never been able to work not even a part time job because of my migrains .............after my first husband left me we had two children and he just left an never looked back i had to go on wealfair thats what they called it at the time and i felt humileated but i had the children to look after and couldent work they would come to the house and look in my couberts to see if i was spending the money on food for the kids and closes for the kids i hated that ................then i got lucky and i remaried my first love and it has never been an isue since we managed on his jobe and now we are on penchion we cant aford a lot but we are happy in our little home .....................i hope you catch some luck and get a good job or a least one you like even if you dont make to much as long as you like it maby that would help .....................i am here for you .............god bless