Depression

For the past few days I have been really depressed.  If I am honest, I have been depressed for a while.  I have had worse depression, depression where I couldn't even get out of bed, this depression I can at least fake being ok with.
I've mentioned before that last year in October my husband and I had some huge problems and that we separated under very stressful and unpleasant circumstances.  The feelings and the hurt I feel from last year has been clouding all of my thoughts lately.
I try really hard to be upbeat and positive, and to remind myself that my husband and I are in such a better place now where we communicate so much more effectively.  That I can let last year's events define me or I can let it be something that happened and leave it in the past.
But it's so hard.  I am still hurt.  I think about the betrayal and the way he treated me and I am angry and hurt.  In all honesty, I believe my husband suffers from a mental illness.  I am not a doctor, I am not sure what, maybe paranoia or his own form of anxiety.  He doesn't like to entertain that idea, so I don't mention it often.
In his defense, he has apologized profusely.  I believe he is sorry, I don't believe he will ever act the way he did last year again, I think it scared him as much as it hurt me.  But, there is still that little part of me that wants to see him "pay" for what he did (I would never plan revenge on him, I just want to see the universe deal him out some karma).  I don't think this way often, but there are times I do. 
On the positive side I have still been accomplishing and doing things with my kids and that need to get done.  Last night I took my daughters to a Harvest Moon Dance at my younger daughter's 4k.  She was so excited and had such a good time.  She has come out of her shell so much since being in 4k, she loves having school things that are about her.
The previous night I took my older daughter to her parent/teacher conference, and it went really well.  In comparison to last year when my husband and I separated the kids are doing so much better.  I actually teared up during the conference.  So embarrassing!  I also went to an AA meeting.  I am not an alcoholic.  For one of my classes our assignment was to visit a self-help group and write a report about it.  I was scared to go in but forced myself to and it was so different from what I thought it would be.  What a wonderful, warm, accepting environment.
It's an odd place to be.  Feeling depressed and yet feeling proud of the accomplishments I have had.