Do you ever feel that life has more to offer? That you are feeling stuck? That you love someone so much but you feel that you are not supporting them the best that you can? These are things that I have been asking myself. I feel so many things right now. I feel that I am stuck in a rut and I am having a hard time getting out.
The holidays were nice. The snow was crazy. It has finally gone away. I am sure it will not be gone for long. The rain has come and here to stay with lots of flooding coming our way. It is sad due to all the problems we will have with slides, flooding and property damage. It saddens with me the economy that way it is and now we will have the storms to deal with now. It is mother nature and you can not fight her. She always has the upper hand.
I did lose my lil boy. Baby Boy (my rat) I miss him like crazy. He was having health problems but they did not bother him. He was in great spirits. He lost the use of his back legs and was falling over due to his neurological problem that caused him to lose his balance and also to lose the use of his back legs. He use to lay in his hammock all day. He enjoyed his carrots, blue berries plus all the rat treats that I would buy for him. He was very spoiled rat. He deserved it.
I start Braille classes this Thursday. I am excited about that. It will be hard but fun. I am up for the challenge and it can only improve and benefit me. If I lose more vision I can use Braille plus when I get a job I will be able to use it to my extent.
Do you ever feel that you have friends, loved ones but you feel so alone inside that you dont know what to do. The sadness takes over you and you keep trying to fight it. Then inside it is just you and you alone. The darkness just lingers and hangs out like it is your best friend. It wont go home or take a day off.
Right now I am having a hard time with the whole weight thing again. I am in my friend Gabbys wedding in April. So things are going crazy in my head right now. Part of me wants to go back to the old ways but I know that I can not do that. Sometimes it feels that old ways are better than new ones. Ya know? I feel like I am dieing inside from weight. It sucks. It is like having an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other side. So confusing and crazy. Just want to make it go away. I just have to fight it and continue with it I guess.
Life is good but I am so not fully happy right now. I need to try to do something to make me happy or I dont really know right now. Im so dorky. What will I do with myself. Im now needing to analyze myself I guess and figure things out. When life gives you challenges just learn to go with the flow and roll. Enough of my babbling. Lata.
The holidays were nice. The snow was crazy. It has finally gone away. I am sure it will not be gone for long. The rain has come and here to stay with lots of flooding coming our way. It is sad due to all the problems we will have with slides, flooding and property damage. It saddens with me the economy that way it is and now we will have the storms to deal with now. It is mother nature and you can not fight her. She always has the upper hand.
I did lose my lil boy. Baby Boy (my rat) I miss him like crazy. He was having health problems but they did not bother him. He was in great spirits. He lost the use of his back legs and was falling over due to his neurological problem that caused him to lose his balance and also to lose the use of his back legs. He use to lay in his hammock all day. He enjoyed his carrots, blue berries plus all the rat treats that I would buy for him. He was very spoiled rat. He deserved it.
I start Braille classes this Thursday. I am excited about that. It will be hard but fun. I am up for the challenge and it can only improve and benefit me. If I lose more vision I can use Braille plus when I get a job I will be able to use it to my extent.
Do you ever feel that you have friends, loved ones but you feel so alone inside that you dont know what to do. The sadness takes over you and you keep trying to fight it. Then inside it is just you and you alone. The darkness just lingers and hangs out like it is your best friend. It wont go home or take a day off.
Right now I am having a hard time with the whole weight thing again. I am in my friend Gabbys wedding in April. So things are going crazy in my head right now. Part of me wants to go back to the old ways but I know that I can not do that. Sometimes it feels that old ways are better than new ones. Ya know? I feel like I am dieing inside from weight. It sucks. It is like having an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other side. So confusing and crazy. Just want to make it go away. I just have to fight it and continue with it I guess.
Life is good but I am so not fully happy right now. I need to try to do something to make me happy or I dont really know right now. Im so dorky. What will I do with myself. Im now needing to analyze myself I guess and figure things out. When life gives you challenges just learn to go with the flow and roll. Enough of my babbling. Lata.
Replies
Learning Braille will, indeed, be a challenge, and keep you connected with your environment. One of my idols in history isdamn, cant think of her nameIm getting so forgetful. Im quite certain you know of her, she is deaf and blind. She once said that blindness separates you from things, but deafness separates you from people. She overcame both, as you are preparing yourself to do, should you lose your residual sight and hearing.
I think your greatest challenge, however, is overcoming deep feelings of aloneness. We all suffer from that from time to time, some all the time, and with your challenges, perhaps it is a bit more profound for you. The good news is that even that can be overcome with the right thinking and attitude. Your last paragraph suggest to me that you can, your thinking of what to do about it is right on. Good for you.
One profound truth: we are never alone, unless we choose to be.
Your new friend, with much admiration, Garrett
I\'m proud of you for taking on the challenge of learning Braille. I\'m sorry about Baby Boy. I\'m struggling with my weight right now too. It\'s frustrating but we\'ll get through. Good for you for journaling your feelings. It\'s important to get those thoughts out there and sometimes very helpful. Hang in there, Angel
I understand where youre coming from...I know theres more out there , just afraid to make the move, just the opposite of you though, relationship wise, I give all and adore my hub , but when things go wrong in his life I bear the brunt, instead of talking about hating his job, you\'d think I was the person he works for !! I get it all, silence, then nasty and after a few beers I am his best frind , the best thing that ever happened to him, several beers later I\'m the ememey once again ...I\'m a former anorexic well should say recovering and when stressed withold food and others with eating disorders reach for him..its a tough road I know...its when we dont like ourselves that we punish,, starange how the mind works...learned to like myself when I was 38...and here I am again , unhappy with my life. myself and my relationship...but it all comes down to me ..I can change that ..no one else...god I am on a roll lol.Youre going thru alot hun, dont be so rough on yourself, things will get better , you just started that new class, congratulations on that...good for you , just take it one step at a time, dont overwhelm yourself, be kind to yourself, it will come {{{Hug}}}} Bonni
I know what you mean. Sometimes when all the world is by my side I feel alone. More alone than I do when I\'m actually by myself. Life can be strange and we just have to go with the flow and live life the best that we can. I encourage you to lay your feelings bare wherever you feel comfortable, whether with a lover, friend or journal--online or not-- just somewhere that you feel comfortable so that you can continue to speculate and hopefully so that you can solve some of your worries. Hugs.