It has been snowing today. It is awesome since we dont get a lot of snow. But today it was snowing. We are suppose to have snow tonight. Hope we do. Saw my counselor today. She didnt really help me a lot. She pretty much said that I need to not stress and try and reduce my stress. It is sorda hard to do right now when my job sucks due to people and gossip and blaming each other for things that is not peoples fault. People just need to work and do there job and stop worry about other people business. Stupid people. Oh well. My girl friend is having a hard time and I want to help and support her. But I think I am making things worse due to my Personality Disorder, anixety and depression. she doent need to have added stress. Last night was hard as hell. (sigh) I purged for the first time in awhile. I was doing so well and I feel that I failed. I know in reality I have not but it is just a feeling that I have. I am just having to take it day by day. I saw a friend of mine today. He cracks me up. Scott. He and I have been friends for 7yrs now. Anyway I better cut this short. It is becoming a novel. Lata.
Replies
Hey baby, don\'t worry about you adding stress to me. Your not. Your personality disorder is just who you are. It\'s a part of you, and it\'s fine. It doesnt stress me out. I love you just the way you are. I would feel sooo much better if the next time that you feel like purging you tell me please so that i can help you. If i have made any comments at all that have caused you to do that I\'m so sorry. Things will get better for us boo. One day at a time. I know we can do this. Just try and concentrate of taking care of you. That\'s what matters. I will be OK. I\'m just trying to keep myself busy and keep my mind focused on good things instead of bad. I dont wanna say too much on a journal ill write ya but i want you to know that things will be OK. I promise you that. I\'m here for you babygirl. I love you with all my heart. xoxoxo
Heather
Don\'t beat yourself up, your doing awesome. I always get that about reducing stress.. what do they think you can change all your work situations... duh? I\'m going to say it again, but does your mate actually understand your PD? It can really work better if they do know, so they can help you . . . damn what\'s that word . . . frikin mind . . . help make your actions Accountable (whew, that was it). . . I think personally, for me, that\'s one thing that really helps me.
Well, I bet I wrote as much as your journel, sorry bout that. Take care, each day forward is a step to a wonderful life.