It is a sunny, cold, icy day. I feel like shit and so low. I want to help my girl friend but I cant. I feel that I just make things worse and that I am not good for her. She honestly can do better. I have so much in my head right now I want to scream but no I need to stay calm and collected and be stronge and do all this shit. My vision is doing weird stuff so it is throwing my balance off. But I havent told anyone and I'm trying to deal with that. I dont know what to do anything. Then in the back of my head is my friend Juli who just passed away in a car accident in Dec 07'. It suck. I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK TO DO ANYMORE!! I CANT HELP ANYONE!! ARRRGGGGGGG..I think my med are making me sick. I didnt take them today and I feel better physically. Not mentally though. i'm so tired. I just want to sleep. That sounds so nice. Just to sleep and lay in bed. Stay in my pj's. Watch movies and wrape in a blankie. When will my world stop crumbling?? I dont know. I know it is said that GOD doesnt give us so much that we cant handle but I'm hitting my limit. seriously i can only take so much. Anyway I need to bounce. I gotta clean and shit before work. lata.