I had a terrible weekend. It marked the 6 month anniversary of Martys death. A half year already where has the time gone. I've only had one dream about marty until Sunday morning. I was packing clothes in my dream and turned around and he was there. I asked where he has been. He answered,Ive missed you. We sat down and I asked him how he's been and he told me "I'm doing fine." I woke up wit htears rolling down my face wondering why this happened to me. A friend of mine told me God chose me because I am strong. To help prepare others in my life who are going to suffer the same lose. I wish God didn't choose me.My mom was in a car wreck yesterday and I couldn't get to her fast enough.Thank God she was ok.I find myself to be much more worried and frightful of people leaving me than I used to be.Feels good to be back at work.I think the weekends are a little lonely.