Feeeling a bit overwelmed these days. My marriage is healing. Sometimes I think maybe I dwell too much on things in my mind.  I have issues with the whole concept of marriage. I used to think my marriage was going to be like my in-laws. It would last 50 years. Now I seem to doubt everything. Maybe I worry. Never thought of myself as a worrier.I am worried about my DS friend. I know she is suicidal. I know she is struggling with outside forces as well as internally. Honestly, I do not know how she has made it this far in life with the trauma she has had to deal with. I pray for her daily. I wish I could drive to where she is, pack her up, and bring her here to assure her safety. She won't let me. I really believe she will not be alive much longer. I feel helpless!The EEOC has concluded the investigation with my claim. We will be filing our lawsuit within the next week or so. I am really afraid. I do not want to see my old boss in depositions. I never want to see him again. I know I will have to during the next few months. I would love to have things speeded up. We have had to wait on the EEOC for six months now. This whole situation makes me sick! I should not have been put in the position that I was put in. I was a dedicated and loyal employee. I was working two jobs and had a real savings plan. Now, I live from paycheck to paycheck and was forced to cancel my honeymoon due to lack of money. My attorney seems to think we have a real good case as he filed suit with some of the same management several years ago and won. Lots going on and I don't feel good about any of it! The only consistent thing in my life has always been my daughter. Looking at her face or thinking of her always makes me warm and fuzzy!