It seems like when a difficult emotion gets triggered, especially one from my past, it seems like the feeling is never going to end.  I guess because when i was young, the feelings never did end.  I felt alone, rejected, abandoned, and despised for so long.  And that WAS my reality, not just in my head.  I am still not very good at "playing with others in the sandbox" but i try. i think its also a defense mechanism to keep people away. PLus it was the role i was given, and its so easy to slip back into these roles, when our shit gets triggered. The feelings seem so intense when they hit. Like its so painful and it will never end, but thats not true.  Its hard to get out of a rut.  I changed my job, beacue i was not happy, but i also need to change where i live, because i am not happy. it is a transitional neighborhood that has started to go back down again.  I think i should move, but i dont know whether to sell my house, rent it out, buy a new place, or rent out a new place.  Moving is such a pain in the ass too.  It feels overwheling to think about all the prospects of change.  I still have my $80,000 of debt from my ebay business flop.  So many decisions to make.  Not sure what to do.  Still feeling bad, but not as bad as yesterday.  Maybe the change i need to make is inside of me.  That does feel like the right answer.  i just dont know what to do.