My house was burglarized AGAIN Thursday afternoon. for the 2nd time.  The cops say it doesnt matter what you do, because if the burglar wants in, he'll get in.  I hate where i live  because i am in a bad neighborhood, but i feel trapped because of the terrible housing market.  My ebay bussiness totally flopped this christmas so i have to get a home equity loan to pay off the $80,000 of debts.  My house is now a storage wherehouse for all this shit i cant sell, and everything is a mess.  My kitchen has a dead rat/mouse behind the counter, but i cant get to it, unless i take all my cabinets out, which is 2 days of work.  My friend says the smell wil go away, but its been 3 weeks and it still wreaks.  I am the heaviest i have ever been in my life at 210lbs, and cant stop eating.  i want to be in a relationship, but have not been able to find anyone.  I will be 40 years old next year and i have never been in a relationship in my life.  i have two friends that are wrapped up in there own problems and dont seem to care, even when i ask them for help.  I am in the process of leaving my job of 6 1/2 years, and starting a new one, which is scary.  And my father is coming to visit me next week, which i really dont want, but feel obligated to do.  i have ebay sales to mail out, and bills to pay, but i am too depressed to do anything.  i feel so overwhelmed and depressed I want to go to sleep and hibernate, and not wake up.  Its been a long time since i have felt this depressed.  I am tired of fighting.