Whew, how time flies! Things have resolved for me somewhat since my last journal.  My Mom is doing better, but may need more surgery in a couple of months when the last surgery has healed. A table tipped over and fell on my big toe a week ago and I can't believe how much damage it did!!!!  Toenail and skin around it black, except where it is red!  As a diabetic, I worry about it healing.  My step-dad died from complications from nicking his cuticle when grooming his toenails!  I am taking antibiotics, and take good care of the wound.   Can't wear shoes, so am wearing sandals to the office. Last week, I overcame a hurdle in dealing with my back taxes, and so can breath a little easier.  I can't believe how delusional I was when I was gambling away my tax money..... When you throw penalties and interest on top of the amount owed, it can get overwhelming.  I got on a payment plan last year, and the first 8 months of payments only covered the penalties and interest!  It is a little discouraging to see the principle not going down faster....but I guess that is just another side of wanting "instant gratification".  It took me years to get me in this mess.....and I have accomplished a lot since quitting gambling.  My life has been healed and enriched in so many ways. I need to keep myself aware of how much better things are.  It is worth the struggle.  It is worth the effort. The hope I have found, the inspiration and strength to keep my eyes on the road ahead, have come from the stories of people here.   I miss some of the people who used to come here, but am so grateful for those who remain. Thank you all for being my friends, I don't know where I would be without you!