It's Wednesday evening, I'm at the end of a long day of work....I'm still working on solving some problems in my business...and I am regaining my equilibrium a bit..... I think it is normal to have the lows as well as the highs, even in recovery.  The difference is how I handle them!  In the past, the lows would have sent me into isolation, sent me running to escape and lose myself in gambling.  The difference is, I can come here and share with my friends.  I am not, for any reason, going to lose myself in my addiction.  I can face things head on.  I don't have to gamble over anything that could happen to me. It might take me a day or two to recover from the shock of a setback, but I can accept that life is not always sweetness and light.  That is the real world.  I can also realize that my reaction to adversity is more important than the adversity itself.  If I sit around angry, moping, paralyzed with fear....I have chosen to make myself miserable....not to mention everyone around me! Instead, I can choose to pick myself up, reach out for support, and start looking for the best route out, around, or through the adversity.  I can embrace all that is positive in my life and put the negative stuff in perspective.  I can remember that my life is more than one negative situation I'm facing.  I can realize that resentment and entitlement are traps that strengthen the addiction.   I can count my blessings and remember what is really important in life.  Although it is important to me to recover from the financial devastation I created in gambling, it might take a little longer than I hoped.  The financial damage not only affects me, but could potentially put people I love at risk.  That is the part that I feel worst about! Thanks to all of my dear friends who take time to read my journals and lend support.  You mean the world to me....Love, Dianne