It's Wednesday evening, I'm at the end of a long day of work....I'm still working on solving some problems in my business...and I am regaining my equilibrium a bit..... I think it is normal to have the lows as well as the highs, even in recovery. The difference is how I handle them! In the past, the lows would have sent me into isolation, sent me running to escape and lose myself in gambling. The difference is, I can come here and share with my friends. I am not, for any reason, going to lose myself in my addiction. I can face things head on. I don't have to gamble over anything that could happen to me. It might take me a day or two to recover from the shock of a setback, but I can accept that life is not always sweetness and light. That is the real world. I can also realize that my reaction to adversity is more important than the adversity itself. If I sit around angry, moping, paralyzed with fear....I have chosen to make myself miserable....not to mention everyone around me! Instead, I can choose to pick myself up, reach out for support, and start looking for the best route out, around, or through the adversity. I can embrace all that is positive in my life and put the negative stuff in perspective. I can remember that my life is more than one negative situation I'm facing. I can realize that resentment and entitlement are traps that strengthen the addiction. I can count my blessings and remember what is really important in life. Although it is important to me to recover from the financial devastation I created in gambling, it might take a little longer than I hoped. The financial damage not only affects me, but could potentially put people I love at risk. That is the part that I feel worst about! Thanks to all of my dear friends who take time to read my journals and lend support. You mean the world to me....Love, Dianne
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And through the highs and lows you continue to be an inspiration to the rest of us. Thank you for sharing your journey. I know exactly how you feel....the worst for me is thinking the what-ifs as far as my gambling and my children are concerned. But the past is the past, leave it where it belongs. We can only move forward now...and the future looks better and better each day.
We all suffer from the high and lows of what we did to ourselves. The main thing is that you are facing it and working at impoving it. You\'ve come so far. Yes, it may take longer than you want to get there all the way, but at least you\'re not adding to the problem anymore. Pat yourself on the back for that. Hang in there sweetie, things will get better. Peace and Love. Patty
So sorry to hear you are struggling right now with the financial things. I know how overwhelming they can become but I think you have the right attitude. Sometimes when things become too much I have to take a step back and think about what is really important. If I have my health, have family and friends that love me and I love in return- then that is all that is really important, the other things may come and go. There are few things in life that you can\'t get back in time. Hang in there Diane, you are doing great and you will make it through this. Love and hugs
Beautiful entry Dianne! I think it is definitely normal to have highs and lows in recovery! This is just life happening. As you say, the difference now is in how we choose to react or not react to it. Whether we allow circumstances to send us running back to active addiction is up to us! We can run, or we can stand, together, and face what life throws at us. The best part, I think, is that we can choose to do so with a thankful heart!
Love, Julie
I was a close cousin to a thermometer in recovery I was up and down so much. I can still be that way at times. Everything is one day at a time ,even the ups and downs. Life goes on ,good and bad, even in recovery, and you are handling it wonderfully.
You Reach Out and YOu Give Back. The financials will work out.
The little things do count!
Love ya!
Kimber
I agree with you Dianne, I have been fighting with depression and anxiety issues for a long time now. There will always be ups and downs in life. It sounds odd but I wouldn\'t want a life without some ups and downs as long as the downs aren\'t off a mountain top. It is how you deal with adversity much more than the adversity itself, doesn\'t make it easy but so true. Youre doing great and such an inspiration in recovery I am so honored to have you as a friend. HUGS
What a nice entry. It is easy to identify with the positives you point out-recognizing the lows, working through adversity, staying positive-and with continued recovery I would hope to be there. I\'m not. I can barely think about the financial devastation without the guilt and bone-weary tiredness creeping in. Also, I\'m finding that today\'s problems are unrelated to my gambling past, and sometimes they are so monumental that I can\'t practice staying positive and can\'t work through them with clarity. OK, I\'ve rambled enough; i need to learn something here from an intelligent, informative post. Thank you Dianne.
love and hugs,
brigette
Dianne you are so right. The highs and lows do come with recovery and they do in life. I guess now in recovery they almost seem harsher - the lows, maybe because in the past we haven\'t allowed ourselvs to really feel but have masked so much with addiction. I am so with you today in the choices you have chosen. No gambling , no way, no how. Your life is a testament to the inner strength which is growing in you each and every day. Hugs to you dear friend. and love Suzi
Love you, too. Your insight into our world of recovery has helped me more than words can express. I don\'t know how it took me so long to notice you wrote another je! There are a few people\'s I wait anxiously to read, yours is at the tip, top of the list. Keep writing knowing you are an inspiration to us all :) xxxooo
Dianne,
I am sorry you are going thru such a rough time right now. The \"real\" world is pretty tough on us sometimes. I play the \"what if\" game alot also. \"what if\" I had all that money I lost to gambling and had not accumulated such huge credit card debt? But you know when I start thinking that way it really puts a huge weight on my shoulders. We can not fix everything only what is going on this one day!!!! Hang in there friend, you are one heck of a strong lady!!!!
Hugs
Judy
Words I needed to hear!!:):)