Friday, February 29, 2008

Friday....just feeling tired....one of my employees is on vacation and I'm working extra hard to pick up the slack....I'm on 11 straight days of work and have to work 10 more before I can take a day off.....yes, I know I could just not go in, but I need the money to meet my deadline....I am promising myself some time off when that is met....with all the rain, the falls in Yosemite should be amazing this year....Immersed in gambling, I haven't done much else than bury myself in some casino for 3 years....so much in the world I want to do and see that I didn't care about whatsoever when gambling.  I used to love to travel, but after my gambling addiction began, just didn't want to go anywhere there wasn't a casino! Then again, had no money to do anything because every dime went into the slot machine/ money shredder machine! Maybe now I can go see the Hearst Castle, lie on the beach at Pismo, check out the aquarium in Monterey, hang out in San Francisco, spend some time breathing in the pine-scented air with my favorite giant sequoia in Sequoia State Park, visit favorite animals at the San Diego Zoo and Wild Animal Park (used to live there and go every week), drive the coast from Carmel to Big Sur, start playing guitar again, join a group, take some voice lessons, visit my reclaimed family (I was adopted and found my birth family last September- I was raised an only child but now find I have 4 brothers and sisters!), plan my dream trip to Asia, take a vacation in Maui, learn to pan for gold, ride my bike, get a motorcycle again, support a poor child, climb Mount Everest (or at least trek in the Himalayas), buy my Mom a new wardrobe (she loves clothes!), pay for a class my friend needs, fix the little dings in my car, spend a day at a spa, get a head to toe massage, go on an archeology trip, take some  classes, improve my Spanish, see the Copper Canyon, climb the temples at Palenque, spend a week at a meditation center, redecorate my place, read some great books.........maybe I can get excited about learning to save and invest money instead of spending it...LOL.....so many things that require time and money that my gambling sucked up.....I want to be able to enjoy life and find pleasure again in anything and everything other than gambling!  It's funny how everything else lost all meaning and enjoyment while I was in the death grip of the addiction....