Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Wednesday.....day 57 GF....I'm looking forward to the 60 day milestone......I still think of gambling at least fleetingly every day.....today one of my employees decided to tell me all about her fun fun fun trip to the casino, what machines she played, etc....It made me feel a little tempted, but nothing I can't handle. My employees all know I liked to go to casinos, but they don't know the extent of the issue, as I have paid my business bills, payroll, etc. on time...it is a relief not to have to hide my gambling problem from them as well as everybody else! Yesterday I was able to make a good size payment to the IRS and called them to "check in." I am grateful business has been good recently, and I am on track to get out of trouble....I don't know what kind of insanity I was living in, not making my estimated payments.....getting further and further behind.....instead I was paying the casino.....I am grateful today for "waking up". I am grateful to have the energy and opportunity to work hard to repair the damage I have done....I am grateful for the people on this site who read and comment on my journals. It helps so much to feel I am not alone, there are people who understand and do not condemn me, people who care enough to take their precious time to support me. Thanks and much love to everyone on this site.....
Replies
Dianne , not only do I understand you...I have been exactly where you are...That is particularly the reason why I say to you.... If you need help..I will help you...I am glad that you were able to pay the IRS back a chunk of what they are owed. I , just like you...am the perfect boss. The paychecks are always there...the heat is always on...the rent is always paid...the health insurance is always current...the quarterly unemployment is filed...etc etc etc... A couple of years ago ..I got into the same situation as you and if it werent for working my tail off when the 4 hurincanes hit FLorida...I would have lost my business....BUT ..GOD WAS FAITHFUL to me ...even when I didn\'t deserve it..You are going to make it...Not only are you going to make it but now that you aren\'t gambling...you are going to have excess. Excess enough to not have to worry..Excess enough to treat your employees even better. People like you and me aren\'t really money hungry fools..That is a lie we tell ourselves sometimes without focusing on the truth...The truth is we are addicts of a very hard compulsion that got the best of us...I know that you are a good hearted..kind person...Now you are going to be able to do more things that you really want to do..I am SOOOOO Proud of your 57 days...And I will celebrate your 60th day coming up...Again, I am here if you need me - : ) Ian P.S. Do you have an email address so I can send you a photo of me..That way you can put a face to my notes...I will also send you a photo of my wife and my son.
I just finished paying off the IRS this month. Very Ironic that today I checked my checking account balance and there was an installment fee withdrawn by the IRS. They will have to pay that back to me, I don\'t know how long it will take but they just assumed I hadn\'t paid the balance off yet (isn\'t that the way the IRS always is??). I will have paid off two debts by this Friday. I haven\'t been able to pay off crap in the last few months so I SEE the evidence of what being Gambling Free for 26 days has meant to me. I could have been paying off debts 2 months ago, or 3, or 4 etc.
I am 26 days GF. Thanks for being so kind to comment on my journals and give me encouragement. It really has been uplifting.
christopher
hey.. Congrats on almost 2 months... And dont worry about your coworker... that stuff is not for you ne more... Keep on Keeping on!!
mark