Saturday....day 53 of abstinence...had a busy day at work.....happy about that.....not feeling any big desire for gambling....really happy about that. My boyfriend has wanted to move to Vegas for years, and has an opportunity to work with a friend of his there at something he has always wanted to do....he seems to be getting more serious about going.....but I will not move there. I just can't imagine how much worse that would be for my recovery from gambling....and for him as well. The word 'homeless" definitely comes to mind.....In addition, I can't see myself walking away from a growing business I've worked on for 6 years, and need now to work hard to pull myself out of the hole I've dug....Someone mentioned on a discussion thread that we love people as long as they don't interfere with our lifestyle.....I think my change in lifestyle is getting in his way. I am no longer helping to enable him to gamble......He claims he isn't leaving me, and wants me to come to Vegas with him....I can't see myself ever going there, don't want to go there, and don't plan on going there. I guess that will be the end of things for us....it may be for the best, but it makes me sad, as he is not only my boyfriend, but my best friend here....We've been through a lot together...I guess this is something else I'll just have to take one day at a time.
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Hi Dianne,
53 days of abstinence...really good, you\'re in recovery. I\'m only a bit ahead of you on my road to recovery...114 days (Whoo Hoo). As the days pass, it\'s true, the urges to gamble become easier to deal with and in some cases disappear altogether. I\'m so grateful I haven\'t been feeling any urges to gamble. I know this can change in the split of a second, I had several years of abstinence and starting gambling again, I can\'t tell you when or why I did, I don\'t remember. This addiction is very cunning. So, in addition to abstinence I\'m working on becoming a better person for myself. Ya\' know, learning to be my own best friend, stuff like that. I\'m really excited about working on my spirituality! As far as you moving to Vegas, I\'ve been told not to make any big moves or changes in my life until after at least one year of recovery. I live in Vegas and have for 22 years. It wouldn\'t even be a good idea for me to move anywhere else for at least a year. People wonder how I can live in Vegas and stay in recovery. I think it\'s because I physically live here but my home is in my heart no matter where I reside. Did that make sense? I wonder if your boyfriend is trying to tempt or test you? My advise to you is don\'t make any big moves until you have at least a years worth of recovery. Give yourself time, be good to yourself. Isn\'t it neat to be able to grasp the concept of one day at a time? I love it! Wow, you have your own business, that is very cool :) If your guy moves to Vegas you\'ll be able to remain friends if it\'s what you both want. If he moves to Vegas without you that will be a big change for you to have to adapt to, but it isn\'t a change you\'ll have control over. You do have control over what changes you allow to happen in your own life. Don\'t be afraid of Vegas and don\'t move here if you don\'t want to. There I go telling you what to do! lol Just my comments on your JE because I believe I understand what you\'re going through. I\'m so glad I met you through Cory :) Take care, my CA friend, Love, Robin
You know the saying, \'there has to be endings to have beginnings\"? Maybe it wouldn\'t be the end of the 2 of you, but the beginning of new \'chapter\'. I don\'t have any desire myself, to live in Vegas, and for me, that would be like dangling cheese in front of hungry mouse...it would just be too much, and being in, and staying in recovery is priority. If he chooses to go, it might be what he needs to do, to get out on his very own, and have to make his own way.....You have put too much into making your business successful, and you are doing great in recovery. I agree, that perhaps with your lifestyle changes, and not being his enabler, you are taking the reigns over your own life, and its \'cramping\' his style, so to speak. Stand your ground Dianne, and do what you have to do for YOU! WTG on 53 days! ODAAT is really adds up.
hugs and love
Danya
Sorry to hear dianne. Yes, one day at a time. Maybe he will come to grips and realize that the idea of vegas is not in your best interest.... If he doesnt.. then maybe it is for the best... I wish you the best of luck.. if you need to talk, im free. mark