Thursday....another day of recovery....but Thursday used to be a real trigger day for me, as it was the day I thought the slots were loosest at a nearby casino....All day long, I used to eagerly anticipate heading to the casino right after work and staying until....oh......4 or 5 am or so......and then getting maybe 4 hrs. sleep before having to drag into work again....I thought Fridays the slots were tight, so I would usually refrain from gambling until Saturday after work, and then it was Saturday all night, often again on Sunday, maybe Monday, possibly Tuesday, definitely Thursday.....and on and on......of course, if I won a lot, it would be every night until it was gone and I couldn't drain the bank anymore.  I am paying the price for all this insanity  now....I can't ever go back there.  Financial devastation. .. Physical exhaustion....Big emotional fallout....But.....I have come a long way in 51 days GF!!!!!  I may be working too hard and still need more rest than I'm getting,  but at least this is for something positive....rebuilding my life!  OK, I'm getting back to healthy eating again  (good-bye sugar!) and still on plan toward my goals!  My Mom doesn't know about my gambling, (she lives a long way away), but she knows I have been working a lot and has figured out I might be low on cash- she knows I went through a divorce last year that was also a big financial strain, and has offered to loan me a little money (she lives on a fixed income and doesn't have that much!)   I hate taking anything from her, as I got myself into this mess, and if I can, I will get myself out.  I don't want anybody else to have to pay for what I did to myself.  I know this is pride, and I might be forced to ask for help, but I will do everything I can to do this on my own first.   The offer of help from those who care about me at this time has really touched me....tears come to my eyes as I think about the love and support others have shown me.  Thank you so much to everyone who has been here and helped me along this path.  I'm not there yet, but I'm on my way!!!    xoxoxo to Everyone