Tuesday morning.  Decided to take the day off, my first day off since New Year's Day.  I need to take better care of myself; nutrition, sleep, rest, stress management.  The support on this site has been fantastic.  It really helps to read comments and know there are people out there who can relate and are willing to take their time to give me support.  WOW.  My stress level is better, I'm trying not to look into the future too far just yet, trying to stay focused on today.  Gambling urge is somewhat high again- I used to sneek off and gamble on my days off.  Just for today, I won't gamble.  Deciding to never gamble again seems a little too overwhelming, I guess I need to do the baby steps.  I'm trying to build a little optimism regarding the possible cancer situation.  Even if the worst outcome comes true, I can still savor and enjoy every day of health and well-being allotted to me.  None of us have a guarantee of long life or good health- I could be in a car wreck tomorrow and be killed or have my health ruined.  Just for today, I will live the best life I can.