Today is Saturday, and didn't get much sleep last night. I just had a suspicious mole biopsied yesterday, and it may be malignant melanoma. The tests yesterday set me back nearly $1000, as I don't have health insurance. I'm really worried about the possible melanoma. It tends to be very invasive and metastatic, and there is a very low survival rate if it isn't caught before it spreads. The gambling is a large factor in why I don't have health insurance (no money for the expensive premiums.) Obviously, I don't have money to pay out of pocket for expensive procedures or chemotherapy. I just have to hope that the biopsy comes back nonmalignant, although the dermatologist seemed quite worried. Yesterday was the worst day yet for gambling temptation. I just wanted to go gamble and try to forget my worries. I guess it was a victory of sorts, as I did not go. The urges are less this morning, but I am tired from another night of little sleep. I have a hard day at work scheduled today, so I hope I can keep it together and not show the stress to people there. I'm starting to run down. I wonder if gamblers have a higher cancer rate than other people??? The stress, lack of sleep, and toxic air in casinos certainly can't help us. I know many times I've pushed myself to the limits, definitely not eating or sleeping properly, due to hours and hours at the machines or at the tables. Today, I'll just devote to staying away from gambling one more day. I know I'll just feel even more hopeless if I start gambling again now.
Replies
((((hugs))))
compulsive gamblers neglect themselves in so many ways...and yes....our health suffers...I will keep you in my prayers.....In your journal you say that you wanted to gamble to try to forget your worries....and it would likely work..for a very short time...and then...when you\'d finished....your worries would be so much worse...and the price is just too high...financially ...and otherwise.
when do you expect results?
hugs.
we as gamblers always seem to dwell on the negative side of \'what might be\', instead of waiting to find out \'what its not\'. I know you must be scared right now, and rightfully so, I can understand that. Get thru today, work on today, and when that is done, do the same tomorrow, and so on......adding gambling to the mix will only make things way worse. We all suffered, health wise, by the countless hours and money that we poured into gambling, and like you, I don\'t have health insurance, so I am still sliding by on a wing and a prayer. getting insurance before summer is on my list of personal goals, and one that I intend on keeping.
hang in there, we will all include you in our prayers, and keep a positive outcome at the forefront of our thoughts! There is power in numbers and in prayer, so you have those both on your side.
hugs and love
Danya
I hope everything works out and your health is alright. Take care of you and gambling is never going to help you through this. Hugs and to a GF day. oxxoxoxo