Today, my boyfriend went to the casino with his gambling buddies.  I felt resentful, jealous, and tempted.  It's harder for me to stay "abstinent" when I know he is there.  However, when I look again at the financial ruin I am trying to avoid, I know my gambling (and contributing funds to his gambling) have put me here.  I just can't keep on this suicidal path.  I miss the adrenaline highs and excitement and the mind-numbing escape, but I can't pay the price anymore.  I don't want to pay the ultimate price of losing everything, losing the last shred of my self-respect, endangering the well-being of my family, losing my business, you name it.  I have stopped bringing home any cash so my boyfriend can't take it.  If he spends all his money gambling, he can't fall back on me to pay for other stuff.  I hope he will eventually want to quit, but I have my doubts.  I can't let him draw me back in.  I don't know where our relationship will go if I am successful in quitting, and he isn't.  He (and gambling) have been the center of my world for several years now.  I never gambled until we got together.  He was already addicted but I didn't know until after we had been together quite a while.  We argued about it for years, and then I finally just started going with him instead of staying home wondering where he was and when he would show up.  It wasn't long before I became addicted as well.  I need the strength to face whatever happens.