I'm in a place of fear, nightmares every night, fearing drowning in depression, fearing financial ruin. I am now working 7 days a week to try and avoid a tax lien by the IRS. My last bet was New Year's Day, 2008. A little over a week, and already my revulsion at my gambling habit is being chipped away by temptation and the urge. I was doing pretty much OK until a TV commercial last night about the weekend "big" activities at my favorite casino. I just can't believe that I can still want to gamble after all I've been through and all I'm going through, and what I will go through before this is "over." I'm scared of the deep regret and self-hatred I have suppressed and believe will rise. I need support and fellowship with people who understand and are also fighting this compulsion. How do people deal with the remorse???? I need help.
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