Classic warning signs of abuser bear repeating 1. Pushes for quick involvement: Comes on strong, claiming "I've never felt loved like this by anyone" pressing for exclusive commitment 2. Jealous: Excessively posessive; calls constantly or visits unexpectedly, prevents you from going to work, checks your car mileage and cell phone calls 3. Controlling: Interrogates intensely especially if you're late about who you talked to and where you were; keeps the money; insists you check with him before doing something or ask permission 4. Unrealistic expectations: I like to call this not keeping a timeline of what came first; Expects you to be perfect 5. Isolation: Tries cutting you off from family or friends, skews what they say in attempt to dissolute relationships; may deprive you of phone or car or prevent you from holding a job. 6. Blames others for problems or mistakes: It's someone elses fault, or points the finger back to you 7. Others responsible for feelings: abuser says, "You make me angry" or "you're hurting me by what you do." 8. Hypersensitivity: Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings when actually mad. Rants about things that are actually just a part of life. 9. Cruelty to animals or children: Kills or punishes animals. Also may expect children to do things beyond their ability and will respond harshly. 10. "Playful" use of force during sex: enjoys throwing partner down or holding against will finds the rape idea fun 11. Verbal abuse: constant criticism and blatant cruelty; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. This may also include sleep deprivation waking you from sleep to assault you. If it is by phone, if you don't answer you'll be accused of cheating, not sleeping! 12. Rigid gender roles: Expects (woman usually) you to stay home, serve and obey 13. Sudden Mood Swings: switches from sweet to violent in minutes 14. Past Battering: may have hit mate in the past and blames the mate 15. Threats of violence: Says things like, "I'll break your neck" or "I'll kill you", then denies it or dismisses it with "I didn't really mean it". Posted on 12/19/07, 03:12 pm