I did it- I left him.  And, he still doesn't understand why.  I caught him looking at porn again, this time while I was lying on the couch right there- just 8 feet away.  It hurts me so deeply, and all he can do is call me a whore and a stupid slut.  He told me to leave, so I did.  He threw his ring at me, yelled at me and said he didn't want me.  Then, he starts hugging me, telling me that he DOES want me.  So, obviously I'm crying still.  But, as he's holding me, I realized that this is just part of that cycle, and that in a few weeks he'll slip up again and I'll catch him once more.  It's been this way for 6 long, heartbreaking and torturous years.  So, I got Jonathan dressed, and I left.  Then I was stupid and I called him.  He tells me he's hungry and I left and took the car, so he can't get something to eat.  So, I guess I'm not a 'worthless whore' like he said I was- after all, I do everything for him, and now that I'm gone he doesn't know what to do.  So, this is the end of the road for Rob and I.  How can I go back to that???  He never cared about my feelings- it was always what he wanted, when he wanted it.  I had a fever of 101º last night, and my whole body ached.  I had sex with him just to please him, even though I was sick.  I have always done all that I can just to make him happy.  But it was never good enough.  He still chose porn over me, and he STILL called me names and hit me.  It doesn't matter what I do, he will never care or respect my feelings.  At least I figured it out while I'm still young.  I can move on, and I will heal- eventually.  This is the beginning of a new me!  I'm going to lose this weight, get a job and go back to school.  I'm going to raise my son in a home without violence and yelling.  A home where there is love, and not lust for porn.  I have to do this for him.  I will be telling the judge when it comes to a custody battle that he is addicted to pornography and refused to get help.  (IF it does- I don't think Rob really cares about Jonathan at all.)  And I will tell him about how Jonathan saw him doing it, about how he did right in front of him, and how Jonathan found the magazines.  I will push for only supervised visitations, I can't take chances on him seeing any more of that disgusting porn.What's funny is that he calls ME a slut and a whore, yet he's the one looking at pictures of teenage girls who have sex on camera for money.  Perhaps he doesn't know what those words mean???  If I were a slut and a whore, maybe then he'd want me instead???Well, I'm still sick, so I'm going to bed.  I have a beautiful 4-year-old to cuddle with!