This is a letter to my son.  At first I had it as 'private', but I decided that I don't mind if anyone else reads it.  PLEASE DO NOT COMMENT ON THIS- as it is not up for discussion because it is simply a letter from a mother to her son.  You may rate it if you wish, but all comments will be deleted without being read. ~Melinda My Dear Jonathan,I sit here, day after day, watching you play.  Your little toes wiggle when you are trying to figure something out.  You're a problem solver, that's for sure!  I watch you learn new things right before my eyes!  You taught yourself numbers, from 1 all the way to 999!  How did you DO that??  You talk to yourself while you play, mumbling small phrases, repeating them over and over again, with the sweetest little voice I've ever heard.I was thinking about the summer that we lived in Florida.  You were just 2 years old then.  You weren't talking yet.  Daddy and I sat up one night, staring at you as you slept.  We were wondering what you would sound like when you finally began to talk.  We both did impressions of how we thought you would sound.  We joked lovingly about what your first words would be.  Everyday, we remained hopeful that it would be the day you finally spoke.  We tried to get you to talk- coaxing you to say anything at all.  That summer, you saw the ocean for the first time, and you loved it!  One day, we went fishing, and daddy was standing out on the breakwall at Sebastian Inlet.  You wanted to go down to the beach below it.  I walked you down there so you could play in the water.  You were laughing and giggling as the water rushed over your feet.  Suddenly, I larger wave came, and it ripped you from my hands.  I was terrified!  It swept you out into the water.  You rolled along with the sand and the water, laughing hysterically!  I quickly got over my fear of the ocean and ran after you.  It's amazing what a person will overcome when the love of their life is threatened.  From that day on, I had daddy hold onto you when you were anywhere NEAR that ocean.You and I have had some pretty close calls.  Not just that day that the ocean decided to take you for a ride.  When you were 3 weeks old, daddy had to go talk to one of his professors.  We stopped at the college, and he said he would be back in a few minutes.  The sky looked dark, and we thought it was just another early April storm.  But, this was Illinois, a place where tornadoes love to be.  I watched as daddy ran through the rain to the building.  As soon as he got inside and the doors were closed, the sky changed.  It suddenly turned green.  The strangest green I had even seen.  Quicker than I noticed it, the car began to shake, and I suddenly couldn't see out of the car windows at all.  It got loud, so loud that I couldn't hear you screaming from the back seat.  The car rocked back and forth, and all I could think to do was jump into the back seat with you and put my whole body on top of your carseat in case a window were to blow out.  Tree branches were hitting the car so hard.  I didn't know what was going on.  It was all over in about 30 seconds. Your dad came running out to get us.  He said that the doors of the school suddenly slammed behind him when he got inside, and it felt as though all of the air was being sucked out of the building.  I was still on top of you in the back seat when he got to us.  I looked up at him, white as a ghost.  That's when I saw what had happened.  There was an S.U.V. parked right next to us, and it was crushed.  An old tree that was just in front of it had fallen onto it.  There had been a tornado, and it completely snapped this tree's trunk like it was just a twig.  The tree's trunk was actually about 3 and a half feet across.  Broken branches we stuck into our car, and all around us, cars we crushed.  Ours was the only one that didn't get smashed.  We were able to drive right out of there.Then, there was the day that I realized what true fear was.  This was in Florida, that same summer when you 'went for a swim'.  I had went out to the garage to find a screwdriver.  I hadn't realized that you had followed me out there.  It was pitch black because our neighborhood didn't have streetlights.  I heard you screaming, and I froze.  I ran into our backyard looking for you.  We lived 2 houses from the corner, and I saw 2 men standing in front of a pick-up truck, looking down.  My heart sank.  I couldn't breathe.  I ran as fast as I could toward them, still hearing your cries.  Then, something else caught my eye.  I turned to make a quick look to my left.  I saw the light from your light-up fan that you carried everywhere with you.  There you were!!  You were walking between 2 houses, crying and trying to find your way through the darkness.  I called to you, but you were too far away to hear me, and you were crying so loud.  I ran to you and picked you up.  I will never forget that look of horror on your face!  You didn't know who had grabbed you.  I held you so tight, tears and sweat running off my face.  Then, you let out a giggle!  You have been all that I live for since September 20, 2002.  The day after my 21st birthday, I found out that I was going to be a mom.  I was so happy and scared at the same time.  I quit smoking, and began eating healthy.  Two weeks later, I saw you for the first time.  I was 18 weeks pregnant when I found out about you.  At 20 weeks, I had my first ultrasound, and I found out that you were a boy!  Being pregnant with you was easy.  You didn't give me morning sickness, but you did seem to enjoy kicking me ALOT!  That reminds me of our very first close-call together.  I began having contractions on Saturday, March 8th.  The doctor sent me home, telling me to wait until my contractions were closer together.  Sunday, March 9th, no progress.  On monday, we finally went back to the hospital.  The nurse said, "You're going to have a baby today!"  I just started crying tears of joy!  I had no idea what was coming.  I was admitted at 9am.  They expected you out by 6pm.  Nope.  You had to be evicted.  You wouldn't budge.  You were stuck after 3 hours of pushing.  I didn't panic.  The doctor came in and told me that I would need a c-section.  I told her just to do what she had to do to get you out.  In no time at all, I was on the table, my arms strapped down, with a big blue drape hanging across my chest.  I wanted to see what was going on.  Daddy was rubbing my head, telling me everything he saw.  Then, the most wonderful words I had yet to hear- "It's a boy!  He's big and healthy!" Then, the strangest thing I thought I would hear- "Ha!  He BIT me!"  You bit the doctors hand when he lifted you from my body!  What a little stinker you are- right from the minute you were born!  I didn't get to see you, though.  They rushed you away.  You had swallowed something, and they needed to do chest xrays.  When I finally got to see you for the first time, I noticed you had a large gash on the top of your head.  You were only 12 hours old, and already had your very first cut.  I don't remember much from this day, but I do remember that.  The nurse had jabbed at your head, against my wishes, trying to put in an internal fetal monitor.  I had told her not to do it, and they waited until daddy left to get some dinner, and then tried repeatedly to put one in, and you wouldn't let them.  Later that day, I needed a blood transfusion.  I was bleeding internally because the doctors made a mistake.  They forgot to close up an artery.  The doctor told daddy that if she didn't get me into surgery, I would be dead within the hour since I had, at that point, been bleeding internally for 19 hours.  My skin was grey, my lips were blue.  Daddy signed the paperwork, and they wheeled me onto the elevator.  I will never forget the look of desperation on your daddy's face as he stood in at the elevator doors as they closed between us.  The doctors fixed the problem, and I got to hold you later that night.  I looked at you, all bundled up in a little blue blanket.  You were the sweetest thing I had ever seen.  You looked so precious and sweet!  I didn't want to put you down.  Daddy's family came to visit, and I didn't want to give you up so that they could hold you.  You were MINE.  No one else could be trusted with the most precious person in my life!You are STILL the most precious and loved person in my heart.  No one could EVER replace you.  You are my light, my strength, my heart, my love, my LIFE.All my love,Mommyp.s.- go clean your room!