My surgery went well yesterday.  I only have 14 stitches, but they itch like crazy...I spent the night at my parents new house with Jonathan.  It was probably the best night's sleep I have had in YEARS.  No anxiety, no worries.  When I sleep in our bed, all I think about is how he has betrayed my trust and lied so much.  Even if I sleep on the couch, I still feel the same way.  But, being away from him, I feel better.  I might go sleep there again, but it's hard because they don't live so close anymore, and I have to get Jonathan up very early to get him to school on time.  I am not as sad as I thought I would be.  Actually, I feel WORSE being in the same house as him.  He keeps trying to hug me, but I don't want him to.  I don't like it when he touches me.  I don't even like to look at him anymore.  All I see when I look at him is a disgusting, lying, abusive pig.  He has no concern for anyone except for himself.   There is nothing he can do now.  What's done is done.  There is absolutely NO WAY that he can get my trust back.  This last time was the very LAST time.  He lied for a year and a half- right to my face.  He has more porn, I know he does.  And, I am not going to spend the rest of my life with a person like him.  I deserve better.  I deserve to be loved by an honest, caring man.  Someone who won't lie to me EVER.  Someone who would never hurt me, physically or mentally.