Another day... I slept on the couch again. I tried for the very last time last night to talk to him about everything. I think I am just ready to go. Last night, I was thinking about what a normal and healthy marriage is. I have learned from my parents the communication, support, love, trust, and sometimes compromise, are all important in a marriage. There are other things, such as kindness, selflessness, encouragement, and a sense of peace which are important as well. I have none of these things with him. I have tried, but talking to him about just does no good. You guys gotta hear THIS one!OK, so I decided that since he didn't read my email, I would just simply ask him to come upstairs and sit on the bed with me and talk with me about everything. Well, i asked him, and he got all mad, saying I just wanted to fight with him. SHOULDN'T A WIFE BE ABLE TO TALK TO HER HUSBAND WITHOUT HIM GETTING ANGRY????? I told him I just want to talk about things between us. -I want to add this one bit of info before I continue with what happened last night: Anytime I have ever tried to talk to Rob, he always has refused, so I would just try to talk to him in bed at night as we were going to sleep. Well, he gets so mad when I do that because he has to go to bed, yet during the day he is far too busy with his computer game and his t.v. shows to listen... OK, I just wanted to point that out.Well, finally he gets up from his precious recliner and beloved porn-machine, err, computer (lol) and he goes upstairs and says, "OK talk" I was a little shocked! So then he lays down and closes his eyes. I gotta take what little I can get, right? It's not what I had in mind, but if that's what he wants, fine, I'll say what I have to say. Then he starts snoring. OH MY GOD!!! Here I am, TRYING to talk to him, and he falls asleep!?!? All these times I tried to talk to him before we go to bed, and he yelled about it. So, I try to talk to him at 9pm, since we go to bed at 11:45 every night, and he blows me off! Finally, when he says OK to it, it's 11:30 and he falls asleep!?!?! I mean, c'mon! I do what he asks, and STILL does this! GRRRR....So, I took my pillows off of the bed and decided to spend another night on the couch. Then he tells me to get into bed with him because he can't sleep without me. When I asked him why, he said because all he does is toss and turn. Funny. I thought he was sleeping perfectly fine when I was up crying all those nights- he certainly wasn't tossing and turning then!So, anyways... I have figured out that there is just no way for me to get through to him. Next step is getting myself out of the door. The only thing he seems to care about is the car. My parents and grandparents bought ME that car, and his name is nowhere on the title or the reciept for payment. He told me that if I take the car, he will take off the radiator, rims and tires, and the wheel bearing that he replaced on it. Oh, and the spark plugs too. He also promises to drain the gas. I can't go back without the car if I go to my parents house. They have made that perfectly clear. But, that's the only place I have to go. Funny- he couldn't cre less about Jonathan or anything else- just the car. Someone's got his priorities all wrong, don't ya think?So, I made a step forward today. I took a long hot shower without worrying that he's looking at porn. I mean, I have a life to live, and I can't waste it worrying about what HE'S doing! So, I enjoyed my shower nicely. Took an extra long one, just so I could relax in the hot water. I don't care how bad you're feelings hurt, a shower always makes it better.
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I would say you need legal counsel about the car. I am not familiar with Ohio laws. However, I don\'t know exactly WHERE you are in OH, but I have friends in Cincinnati and cousins in Elyria. I will get you whatever help you need. Yes, you need to be stronger than ever for you and your son. He is a worthless SOB (sorry if that hurts you) that only care about himself, just like my stbx. Please let me know if there\'s anything I can do to help you. I am always here!
Leave after you take him to work. Do not let him know you are going. Go to the police !!!!! Get to a shelter not your parents house. When things cool down you can move in with our parents. See a lawyer before you leave or call social services about a shelter and they can give you free leagal advice. You must plan and you must get help from the police or social services. If you do not plan it carefully you will make it more dangerous for you and the rest of your family. You must get help so you can document whats been going on, get a restraining order and get it documented that th car is yours !!!!! If he takes it or destroys it it will be against th law. Do not assume he will be fine with you leaving. ASSUME THE VERY WORST AND PREPARE !!!!!!!!!!!!! I\'m very serious !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The newspapers are full of stories about murdered and abused wives. If he is calm and does not react thts great. Maybe he won\'t but do not take that risk. Start making calls on mondy and taking things to your moms that he will not miss. When they can get you to a shelter, Have your parents come with the police to get your belongings and the furniture that belongs to you. DO NOT BE SLOPPY ABOUT YOUR PLANNING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You and your sons life is at stake. REALLY !!!! Your parents are in danger too. ROB is completely unstable. You can not reason with him. PLAN carefully and get help !!!!! Call the police for advice.
Bleeditout and Joline..YOU ARE SO ON TARGET!!! Bless you gals for caring..but there is only so much you can do....support and love are important...for yourselves as well as Melinda! Peace and Love, Serenity55..someone who has been there..someone who also cares...
love to you all. please be safe!
Call your therapist and tell him the truth !!!!!!!
Hey, if the car is in your name, and he vadalizes it... PRESS CHARGES!!! Don\'t let him manipulate you. That is all he is trying to do; control you with threats.
You look like a lovely young lady. If he is too blind to appreciate what he has in front of him, then that is HIS problem, not yours. *hug*