Isn't it amazing how when you are feeling down, and you think that things will never get better- along comes some strangers who heard you were sad, and they send you hugs, flowers, and messages of hope and love? When I first came to DS back in February, I thought the world was evil. I believed that there weren't any good people left out there. But, sure enough, I was proven wrong. I woke up this morning to hugs, flowers and letters of people giving me prayers, advice, and love. They came from people who are dear friends to me, and from people I have never met before. It really helps to know that I am not the only one who has gone through this, and to know that there are people out there who care about me. Just when I thought all was lost, I turn to DS, and I find those who care. I just can't thank all of you enough!
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I remember meeting you back in February because that is when I joined here too..rmember me? i called myself Mama Serenity or Mama Deb?? i listened to all your pain...it hurt me to hear how horribley you were treated, even animals live better than you!..I fell in love with you and Jonathan...but afterawhile I am not one to mince my words, melinda..i have been where you are...raped, beaten, black eye, kicked with steel toed shoes, had a loaded gun held to my temple..and I had a 2 year old little girl!!!! That was 35 years ago ! So can\'t say i don\'t understand or get it..I do..I cut myself, once..I had no job, no money, no car, no friends and there was no such thing as a computer..I turned to a church and they turned me away...I was horribly abused..huts like you are and I hated myself and i was scared and alone..I had family..but protected my abuser...then one day, after a gun was put to my temple and my little girl was in a hallway of our apartment while her daddy had me in a bedroom beating me brutally, I heard her little screams of fear and her crying in panic..Mommy..Mommy!!! i decided I couldn\'t do it anymore...I started the process of leaving..that was 35 years ago and I didn\'t have what is available now......so yes, I DO KNOW...then years past that I got up every morning for twelve weeks and walked to a womans shelter to train with some of the best professionals there are...12 weeks of class..so that I could do volunteer work at the shelter and help other women who are where I had been. i was then smarter, stronger and needed to give back...and I will continue to. I came here in Feb. since then met you, and also lost a friend..she was MURDERED by her husband...she endured 24...24 years of abuse. I talk to one of her daughters now....she is left broken..she is 19 and now caring for her 14 year old sister...her father KILLED her Mother, her best friend!! My dear friend...who just wanted peace and her life back..but she waited 24...24 years!!! robbed of all that time and you know what? her daughter tells me of all the abuse she had seen from the time she was a very little girl..her daddy throwing her mommy across the room, strangling her, punching her and more...and you know what else???he started to do that to her too!!!!!!! but...her mom, my friend would use her body to scheild her...is this what you want? will it take you many years too? will he kill you? ...I remember the last time I came here to talk to you...I don\'t use kid gloves anymore...we are beyond that! you know damn well you are loved here...you know that people are losing sleep over worring about you...even though you haven\'t heard from me..because you became so beligerent with me..I let go of you...but not in my heart, Melinda..I have been thinking of you EVERYDAY!!! I CARE...but..YOU have to do the work..it sucks, it isn\'t fair, you are tired, you hate yourself, you hate life, you hate him....but you MUST live..for Jonathan..that is why God gave him to you! He is you purpose when you don\'t think you have any!!! Please...make a plan and leave...we will do all we can to help and support you and if I know you are serious..I will give you my number and I will do all I can to help you and Jonathan and kitty...just know that you are loved and YOU MATTER..Please take the steps...we will be here if you fall....Peace and Love, Serenity55..DEb...Mama SErenity55 xooxoxxoxo