I am horrible. I can't quit. I want one so bad, and he left to go get Mr. Hero (Roman burger, my fav!) cuz I asked him to. And here I am, wanting to go outside and have a smoke. I can't do it. I promised him I would not have one. I want him to stop the porn so bad that I am willing to go through this, and beat my own addictions. If he has to quit, so do I. BUT IT'S SO HARD!!!
How do I get through this!?!? What if I fail? Will he then go and use my failure as a reason to be able to look at porn? Will he use my slips as excuses to stop trying? Does that mean that he isn't trying if he does do that?
Before he left, I told him how I want a cigarette so bad, and he imediately says,"If you have a cigarette, I'm going to look at porn the first chance I get." OMFG! What!?!?
Oh forget it. I think I am done with him. Why should I stay and put myself through this? Why should I bother with trying if he doesn't care enough to see that his porn addiction is killing me inside? And why should I let him sit there and use the porn thing to hurt me on purpose?