New

I'm new here and I guess I am just venting.  I try to keep my husband from knowing what's going on because we start fighting when I am frustrated with my mom.  She just won't do right.  After staying clean for many years she is got back on crack two years ago.  It brought back all my childhood memories I had buried.  She blames us for this.  We are all so caught up in our own families she is lonely and have to much time alone.  I try to spend as much time with her as I can but I have a husband and three active sons.  I talk to her everyday and visit her at least a couple of times a week.  Every month it is the same thing she owes someone money and I am struggling to pay some drug dealer so she won't get herself hurt.  Last month I didn't do it.  She managed.  This month its the same thing.  They want their money on the 1st and her electric bill is due.  She say just won't pay the electric bill and will come stay with us until she can get it back on.  I said I am struggling now and wont pay any bills for her.  Coming here causes a strain on my family life because my husband feels as she just uses me.  If she would rather use crack than to pay her bills she needs to suffer the consequences.