I am having the biggest anxiety attack and I can just tell that I am going to start to feel like cutting. I know everyone is probably asleep, but I thought the process of writing would make me feel better.
I got an email. I mean an email. In my Inbox, not here at daily strength. You see I run a rape support group through another site and my email address is easily accessible just so people can reach me when they need to.
Well, yesterday I got two emails from different people both wishing me support and saying they had questions and they wanted to know if I would mind if they asked. I answered that I would do the best that I could, but I get emotional too.
A girl wrote back and she just wanted to talk about it a little bit.
The other person was a man. He writes in very broken english. So I am trying to tell myself that I am just misunderstanding him, but it hurts too much for me to try to give him the benefit of the doubt.
He said he read my experience on the site and he noted that I said there was a time when I just started to blank everything out. He wanted to know if I was enjoying it and that is why I blacked out and don't remember it. He said he wants to know what women feel when they are raped. If I had pleasure while I was raped!
By the way this is something that I have accused myself of many times because my body had a reaction that I took as enjoyment, but my therapist says was my body protecting itself. It's different. It's still while I feel like a whore all the time.
What does he mean emotionally? Sexually? Is he planning a rape and I turned him on and he wants more details.
This is just creeping me out so much. My skin is screaming again. I don't know, I think I am going to have to cut again. Ok, calm down and just take a klonopin and try to sleep.
Help!?
I got an email. I mean an email. In my Inbox, not here at daily strength. You see I run a rape support group through another site and my email address is easily accessible just so people can reach me when they need to.
Well, yesterday I got two emails from different people both wishing me support and saying they had questions and they wanted to know if I would mind if they asked. I answered that I would do the best that I could, but I get emotional too.
A girl wrote back and she just wanted to talk about it a little bit.
The other person was a man. He writes in very broken english. So I am trying to tell myself that I am just misunderstanding him, but it hurts too much for me to try to give him the benefit of the doubt.
He said he read my experience on the site and he noted that I said there was a time when I just started to blank everything out. He wanted to know if I was enjoying it and that is why I blacked out and don't remember it. He said he wants to know what women feel when they are raped. If I had pleasure while I was raped!
By the way this is something that I have accused myself of many times because my body had a reaction that I took as enjoyment, but my therapist says was my body protecting itself. It's different. It's still while I feel like a whore all the time.
What does he mean emotionally? Sexually? Is he planning a rape and I turned him on and he wants more details.
This is just creeping me out so much. My skin is screaming again. I don't know, I think I am going to have to cut again. Ok, calm down and just take a klonopin and try to sleep.
Help!?
Replies
I would, generously, assume he really is curious and wanted to understand. However, it really goes beyond the pale and is beyond insensative. I would say he\'s out of line in asking and making assumptions on your part, especially if it is just academic.
Tell him to go piss up a tree.
Girl I am up message me and let\'s talk don\'t do anything to yourself please,I understand everything is feeling creepy,do you have a crisis line you can call that would be helpful I think.alright relax and take some deep breaths this helps me with anxiety and panic attacks try it for me.I\'m here for you I will stay awake so we can chat.Hugs You be safe.Kim
I also would say to tell the guy that you don\'t want to talk about that. It is kinda creepy. take care
That man is a predator! Please block his e-mail, and do not respond in any way! NEVER, ever blame yourself in ANY way. Your therapist is right; your body tried to protect you. NONE of it was your fault! Please try to always remember that.