not a good day...

I called the facility that my bf is being held in today. They didn't help me an ounce. I needed to know that he is ok and hasn't been hurt or worse. They wouldn't get a message to him about his phone acct or his trust fund acct. They wouldn't tell me whether he really was ok or not. They did squat! They said he probably hasn't been given his letters I sent him yet and that if he is going to write me that he has to order his things to write me. How is he going to do that if he doesn't know he can call me or has money? OMG!!! This isn't good. I feel everything crashing down on me! I really think I'm going to have a serious meltdown... No one will work with me because I'm not family. His actual family is leaving him there to rot! They haven't tried to help him in any way. He is on his own and probably feels pretty down and low right now. A little help isn't asking too much! I'm irritated and mad at his family for leaving him in his time of need. I am pissed that I can't help him get out of jail. I wish I had the bond money I need to just get him out of there! This is driving me nuts! I can't see a Doctor for a week or two and I am starting to think that I've escalated from bad to WORSE! Why does this have to be do difficult? He shouldn't be in there! He should be in my house with my arms wrapped around him forever. I'm out of options. There is nothing I can do. I've done all the set up of accounts for him and the wait for him to find out any of this is going to be be excruciating. I just set up the calling account but who knows how long its going to take him to call me. He has to call collect. I usually screen my calls if I don't know the number. I'm going to have to not do that anymore. I don't want to chance missing him. I just want to hold his hand and tell him how much I love and miss him.... tears flowing all over again... can't I ever get a break!