feelings
I hate that I can feel. I am numb with pain and loss and sadness. I don't feel happy. I have no interests. I cannot function the way I want to. I miss him more each day. Time makes it heal? No. Time just makes the wait more excruciating. I haven't heard from him yet. He has been gone a week now. Last Tuesday he was taken to the county jail. He was brought to court and transported to another jail close by. I miss him so much that I can't eat. I can't do the laundry without breaking into tears. I look around my house and see all his things. I tried to call my doctor but they can't see me. Not for this. I don't know what to do. I almost just want to find a cave and lay down and hope for all the pain to cease. My love for him is so much that it consumes my every thought. I miss his kisses in the morning. I miss his warm touch. I miss hearing him type in the middle of the night on his computer. I miss everything about him and it hurts.
Replies
Call the jail find out about sending him a letter and see if they or if you can pick up a visit form so you can see him...be warned it takes them a bit process those forms.
That sucks that you can\'t get in to see a doctor can you try a different doctor? One of the things that I\'ve found that helped me at the start of all this was sleeping in one of his old tops and boxers.....it kinda makes you feel like his still cuddling you. Yes nights are the worst.
It\'s normal what your feeling right now and I still have times like this.
Big hugs.
Thanks for the tips but I already called the jail. They wont help me. Unless he sends it to me I have no way to get it. I\'ve sent him two letters and they haven\'t come back to me so I\'m assuming that he got them. Its just the wait is agonizing... I sleep with his red blanket at night.. It smells like him so I keep it near... Its not the same though. Some nights I\'m up all night crying.. Just wasting my tears.. I have to admit this is the hardest thing I\'ve ever done... and I\'ve had three kids.. I thought that would be hard... this is a lot more difficult...
This is like morning the death of a loved one...there gone but not really so it hurts that bit more.
Waiting for something from them is soooo hard yep mail is important in there but sometimes they forget that we need to hear from them too.
The not sleeping and worrying and crying over them oh yeah I\'ve been there and go there nearly everytime the phones go down at his prison!
Hugs me