Hospital
Today my oldest son had his gallbladder removed. He is home now and doing as well as can be expected. The Hospital he had the surgery done at is the same hospital that my husband had used many times during his battle with cancer. I spent many nights there with him as he suffered thru three surgeries there. It was so tough for me to be there, all the memories came flooding back and I had to go outside several times. Thank goodness his girlfriend was there too and could wait for the Dr.and be in recovery for him afterwards. She understood why it was hard for me. I drove Brian home after he was recovered enough to be discharged while his girlfriend went to shop for groceries for him and get his prescription filled. It was a tough day but I know that there will be many other situations that will cause me to feel this way. It is still lonely here and I do have my youngest son who has the whole upstairs to hisself. He has been a Godsend to me. He has his own life and comes and goes, as he should. It is just wonderful to know that I am not sitting here totally alone. Nathan does come downstairs quite often and we chat some. He deals with his Dads' loss in his own way, not wanting to talk too much abt. it all. He took care of his Dad during the last few days he lived with me and I couldn't have bore it all without his help. So we talk when he wants to talk otherwise we don't talk much about Dad. I know that he was glad to not have to go to the hospital with me. I know that it is still way too soon for me to move past these feelings, today was a perfect example.
Replies
So happy to see your son is doing well. As mom\'s we would always rather be the patient than see them go through pain. I understand your not wanting to be in that hospital with all the memories you have. I finally drove by the VA hospital here the other day without breaking down. Still don\'t want to travel the interstate to the one in Omaha, or head toward Omaha at all. Too many trips that direction and almost all medical related. I have a son living with me now too. He doesn\'t say much about his dad and bless his heart I couldn\'t have brought my husband home had he not been here. There was no way as he became weaker that I could have transfered him from bed to chair etc. But my wonderful son could. And I am so thankful for that. My other two kids don\'t say much either, but they both have spouses to talk with. And they are dealing with their grief in there own way. But know I am here. It\'s just so fresh for me to talk to anyone still without the tears flowing. It\'s just such a great loss and so raw still. I know baby steps, and I don\'t feel as much of a basket case as I had. But I just miss him so. Hugs to you, Michele