I went to a new obgyn today.  I was diagnosed with a rare disease that could turn into bladder cancer if left untreated.  I am totally pill phobic.  I made an appointment today with a pyscharisit today for Friday.  My world is coming apart.  The medicine that I am supposed to take is supposed to cause all sorts of side affects including hair loss.  Now I may have to look for a stylish wig.  Wow!  35 and can get bladder cancer.  I can't handle this.  My world is caving in.  I talked to my therapist today and my doctor.  My doctor was shocked at what the obgyn diagnosed me with.  My husband is trying to be supportive.  I have been crying all day.  I don't want to die.  However, I feel like I am dying slowly inside.  Will the bad days ever stop?  I couldn't start my  Zoloft last night.  My husband watched a documentary on labotimies and pills for mental patients.  I was feeling soooo good from seeing my therapist earlier in the day. By seeing this it got me so upset.  I don't know how I am going to teach and get through this disease.  There is no CURE for the disease that I have.