I found out on July 8th last year that my wife of 7 years and best friend of 12 years had an affair.  I was devstated and crushed and have been searching for truth and healing ever since.  We have been trying to make ammends and make our marriage work but the process is very slow and painful.  Last night, she admitted to me that she got a phone call from the OM sometime last week.  She says that she told him it was over but for some reason he called her at her job (because they used to work together) to "check up" on her.  I am trying my best to trust her but this has destroyed what little bit of trust there was and I feel like I've been cheated on all over again.  I don't want to lose my wife and my family but I fear that the battle has already been lost.  I kissed her goodbye and I told her that I lover on her way out the door to work this morning but my heart is crushed.  I feel like packing up and taking my son and moving on with my life.  Why do I continue to stay and subject myself to this torture?  I am not a slouch, or weak or "bad" in any way, I don't deserve this.  But the woman I truly love that said she truly loved me chose another behind my back and didn't even have the deceny to tell me beforehand to give me a chance to leave or make things right and fight for my marriage.  She just assumed it over between us and started having sex with this guy.  How can I ever possibly trust her again?  Not only does the OM still have access to her, she also keeps in contact with another one (or maybe more!) of her old boyfriends as well.  I was never a fan of this and had expressed my feelings about it on several different occasions, but she insists that they are just friends and that's all.  Well, now that she has admitted cheating I told her that this will no longer be tolerated, if she wants me to trust her than she has to end these "friendships" immediately which she reluctantly claims that she has but I simply do not believe her at all.