Well, Sunday night after a weekend of hibernation. It would be easy to accuse myself of being lazy or doing nothing at all, especially after not going to two meetings this weekend, but I'm being gentle with myself. After all, I slept most of the weekend, and I don't sleep that much unless my body really needs it. I'm not that far removed from a major cold (still sniffling, in fact), withdrawal from two very difficult addictions, and the death of a very close friend. Speaking of that last one, I received a package in the mail from my departed friend and his wife on Friday. She had told me it was coming, as the present was something they hadn't gotten a chance to mail to us yet. Inside was also the item that Jeremy had willed to me, a handmade necklace with two crosses on it. We had seen him wearing it during our visit back at Thanksgiving, and my girlfriend asked me if it was "like" his. That was my first thought, but then reality hit with a sickening thump. No, it wasn't like his. It was his. I dug in the box, finding a card and letter. The card had been signed by both of them, a reminder of just how quickly he was cut down. The letter was from his wife, and talked about what the will had said about the necklace, including Jeremy's direct, final words to me about it, and how he would always be with me through it. Of course, he'll always be with me, whether I have the necklace or not, but it meant so much to me.  Means so much to me. I'm going to wear it regularly. I'm having some issues with my OA abstinence. I can't seem to stay sober, even when surrounded by healthy food choices, such as lots more veggies and fruits. I do have to say, though, that Friday was a food victory. We went to an Italian grill for my girlfriend's brother's birthday (say that one three times fast), and I completely avoided pasta and red/white meat, getting a nice grilled salmon dish, then abstaining from the chocolate cake when we went back to her mother's house, instead picking up some blueberries and sugar-free cool whip. And you know, I liked that a lot more than I would have liked the cake. I just need to keep more of those kinds of foods on hand, I think. Oh, also picked up some broccoli to steam and have with rice. I'm looking forward to that. Sobriety from the love/sex addiction (it's far more of a love addiction, honestly) is a little easier right now. Since redefining my goals there, I'm able to be gentle with myself.  Flirtation is my biggest weakness, which leads to obsession, and...well, the big thing is seeking someone else to fill the hole in my soul that I know I can only fill with spiritual pursuits. I've been getting a lot better about that lately, so I think that helps. Now I need to focus on that with OA. I'm back to working out and meditating in the morning, and really excited about it. Oh, and work too. Can't forget about that.