Christmas??

I managed to get through Thanksgiving and I'm still here, now I have to face Christmas.  The anniversary of my mom's passing (I can't even say the word) was this week and it was the worst yet.  I feel totally abandoned, no one calls or writes to me anymore.  I just feel either pain or numb, Christmas means nothing to me now.  I can't imagine living my life without her.  I will have to go back on the prozac.  Im a good person and people (not DS members) ignore me or treat me bad, I just don't understand it.  I guess it's a sign of the times that we are living in, so many people unemployed now.  Bush really screwed up this country and now says he's sorry that things are so bad.  I mailed my cousin a Christmas card but don't know why since she hasn't answered my emails and I haven't heard from her since I told her my mom died.  I haven't heard from my nephew since Thanksgiving, I think I am depressing him.