4 years

After losing my boyfriend, I feel lost. For 4 years I have depended on him to be there for me, to do things with me, and now I am alone. I wish there was some way to get rid of the hurt and still have him as a friend, at least. He wanted to move away after college graduation which is about 6 months from now, and I was still trying to figure out if that was the journey I wanted. But, once I had decided that going with him and building my future there going to graduate school and doing an internship, it was too late. Now I'm dealing with the what if's, the begging to have him come back, and the endless string of hope that maybe it will work out someday. He was my anchor, and now it feels like am a ship thats floating and rocking spontaneously in a sea of chaos and regret.