4 Years
Here I sit, April 21, 2010, watching Nickelodeon at the ripe old age of 16. Most teenagers wouldn't be watching iCarly and Spongebob...but I can't really avoid that, due to my baby sister.
Tomorrow, Marissa Lee (Marlee) turns four. It's very hard to believe. She was born April 22, 2006 at 10:41 pm. She weighed 6lbs, 3oz and was 18 inches long...exactly the same as I was when I was born. Her birth was rough. She was breech and placenta previa. My mom was scheduled for a C-section on April 26, but on the evening of April 22, everything changed.
I was only 12, finishing up the sixth grade. I was facing all the stress of pre-teen problems...friendships, puberty, first loves. I outgrew myself, getting thinner and lankier. I was stuck in my first love junior high love triangle, my best friend and I both had the biggest crush on this guy in our class, Jared. Eventually, my friend ended up with him, but it of course turned out to be no big deal. Now my best friend from that time is Athiest, bisexual and anorexic, and Jared is emo and one of my best friends.
Now, back to April 22. Me and my mom had run some errands in town that day (getting groceries, making a trip to the library and a stop by the mall). I remember getting a Rascal Flatts CD and singing with her on the way home. We got home around 3 that afternoon and spent the rest of the day relaxing. My stepdad came home from work around 5. It was about 7:30 that evening, and I set quietly on the couch, scouring one of the books I had gotten from the library. Then, everything seemed to happen at once.
My mom stormed out of the bathroom. "Marty, call an ambulance," she said in a calm yet shaky voice. He sprung up from the couch. "What happened?" he said while dialing 911. "I'm hemorraging," she said. My legs went weak.
I remember running to get everything...mom's already packed hospital bag, a diaper bag, some shoes for mom...it was chaos. I was already scared, but the fear in my veins intensified when I saw the blood all over the bathroom. I was then sent outside to watch for the ambulance. The sun was setting, and the sky was a pastel purple color. I looked down the road and saw the flashing lights. They pulled in the driveway and alerted dad. The paramedics, two middle-aged women, somehow managed to get a stretcher through the French doors. I loaded the hospital bag and diaper bag into the car and slipped on some shoes. I looked horrible...hair in my face, sweatpants, bleach-stained T-shirt and flip-flops...I didn't care. I had much more important things to be concerned about other than my appearance. The paramedics came out with mom on the stretcher. While they were opening the back of the ambulance, I walked over to mom and hugged her. Warm tears rolled dowm my face as she squeezed back. "Don't worry sis," she said. "I'm gonna be okay." she kissed me on the forehead. I faked a smile and hugged her again. "I love you," I said in a weak voice. "I love you too Caitiebug, I'll see you at the hospital." I went and got in the car while Dad and the medics loaded mom into the ambulance. I burst into tears and began praying. "Dear God, please let my mom and sister live! I am nothing with out them Lord, please be with them. Please God, please." I wiped my eyes and dad got into the car. We then followed the ambulance all 25 miles to the nearest hospital, Kings Daughters Medical Center.
When we got to the hospital, it was already dark. Dad went in with the medics and mom to get her admitted. I waited for dad to come back, which felt like an eternity. He eventually showed up, and we carried the bags in. I walked back to mom's ER room, which was flooded with people. Nurses, an anesthesiologist, the obstetrician, etc. My sister was going to be born tonight. My dad called my aunt and uncle, Michael and Lisa. I couldn't get ahold of my grandparents, they were out nightfishing. Over the next hour, we got upstairs and they were prepping mom for her C-section. Mom's osbtetrician, Dr. Gordon, was very nice to me. While the were getting the anesthesia to mom, he came in to talk to me. "Would you like to watch TV in one of the empty rooms?" he asked. "Sure," I replied. He lead me to one of the unoccupied rooms, sat down on the edge of the bed and turned the TV on. "Can I get you something to drink? There's Coke, Sunkist, root beer...you should probably drink something, you look like you're about to pass out," he said. "Yes, can I have a root beer please?" I asked shyly. "Sure thing." He smiled and left the room. I sighed and sank down in the bed. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was on Nick-at-Nite. When I glanced at the clock, I was astounded. 10 o'clock already? Dr. Gordon came back in with a can of root beer. "Here ya go," he said. "Thank you," I replied. He sat down in the armchair in the corner. "So, how old are you?" he asked. "I turned 12 last month," I answered. "Ah, I have a son and a daughter. My daughter is just a year younger than you." he said proudly. Just then, my stepdad came in the room, dressed in operation room garb. He was going to go back with mom for the surgery. "So..." he said. "Rough night?" Dr. Gordon asked. "That's an understatement," dad replied. "I understand," the doctor replied. He looked at his watch and stood up. "Well, they should have her numbed up by now...you ready?" he said, looking at dad. "I guess so," he answered. Dr. Gordon looked back at me one last time. "Don't worry, we're gonna take care of your mom and sister." he smiled, and I smiled back.
I sat watching TV and sipping root beer until I saw my aunt, uncle, and cousin Gabriel peek in the doorway. Lisa waved, and I stood up. She hugged me very tightly, and we walked to the maternity ward waiting room. Michael said a prayer for mom and little Marlee. We were the only ones in the waiting room, I was glad. Lisa pulled cherry suckers out of her purse and handed me one. "You want one?" she asked. I thanked her and took the sucker. "These are really good when you dip them in Coke," she said. Me, Lisa and Michael watched the little TV in the waiting room, it was something on the history channel about Nostradamus. Gabe, who was 4 at the time, had fallen asleep in Michael's lap. After a long, painstaking half hour of waiting, eating suckers and watching TV, Dr. Gordon came back with the news.
"Ready to see your little sister?" he asked happily.
I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and happiness. I looked through the window into the nursery, and there she was...my baby sister, Marissa Lee Smith. She was giving them hell...kicking and screaming while they tried to put a diaper on her. I felt little tears of joy welling up as I said "Yep, you're my sister alright." The nurse stepped out with a snapshot of Marlee for me to take to mom. Mom was taken to a recovery room, she hadn't even seen Marlee yet. We went to Mom's room to check on her. She had lost so much blood and was shaking something awful. I handed her the picture and she smiled. She could hardly talk. Michael and Lisa talked to her a bit, and I gave her a hug. Then dad came back and asked if I was ready to finally hold my little sis.
Since she was in NICU (neonatal intensive care) I basically had to take a shower before going back there. I had to scrub my arms with this abrasive sponge all the way to my elbows. I also had to put on a yellow robe. Dad scooped her up out of the isolette and layed her in my arms. I can honestly say that was the happiest I have ever been. Her little hand grasped my finger and she smiled. I felt the tears coming again. I looked down at her and said "Baby girl, if you only knew how loved you are already."
Eventually I had to leave. I was going to stay with Michael and Lisa that night since they lived just across the river. It was 2:30 when we left the hospital. Gabe and Michael were passed out asleep, so me and Lisa made a 3a.m. Taco Bell run. After scarfing down 2 burritos, I flopped down on the couch and went to sleep. I wasn't used to sleeping in the city...the sound of nearby trains, sirens and airplanes harshly lulled me to sleep.
I woke up at 7:30, my grandparents were coming to take me back to the hospital. I was still in the same clothes from the night before. They offered to take me to Wal-Mart and buy some clean clothes, but I didn't want to. I wanted to see my little sister more than anything. I spent pretty much the entire day at the hospital, I didn't want to leave Marlee's side. April 23, 2006 was probably the best day of my life.
It's so hard to believe that was four whole years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. My little sis still means the world to me; she is the main reason I stopped self-injuring. There have been times when she was all I had to hold on to. She listens to what I have to say, and she even shows concern when I cry. Her laughter can a terrible day and just make it wonderful. Needless to say, I love he so so much.
Happy Birthday baby girl! Sissy loves ya! :)
Tomorrow, Marissa Lee (Marlee) turns four. It's very hard to believe. She was born April 22, 2006 at 10:41 pm. She weighed 6lbs, 3oz and was 18 inches long...exactly the same as I was when I was born. Her birth was rough. She was breech and placenta previa. My mom was scheduled for a C-section on April 26, but on the evening of April 22, everything changed.
I was only 12, finishing up the sixth grade. I was facing all the stress of pre-teen problems...friendships, puberty, first loves. I outgrew myself, getting thinner and lankier. I was stuck in my first love junior high love triangle, my best friend and I both had the biggest crush on this guy in our class, Jared. Eventually, my friend ended up with him, but it of course turned out to be no big deal. Now my best friend from that time is Athiest, bisexual and anorexic, and Jared is emo and one of my best friends.
Now, back to April 22. Me and my mom had run some errands in town that day (getting groceries, making a trip to the library and a stop by the mall). I remember getting a Rascal Flatts CD and singing with her on the way home. We got home around 3 that afternoon and spent the rest of the day relaxing. My stepdad came home from work around 5. It was about 7:30 that evening, and I set quietly on the couch, scouring one of the books I had gotten from the library. Then, everything seemed to happen at once.
My mom stormed out of the bathroom. "Marty, call an ambulance," she said in a calm yet shaky voice. He sprung up from the couch. "What happened?" he said while dialing 911. "I'm hemorraging," she said. My legs went weak.
I remember running to get everything...mom's already packed hospital bag, a diaper bag, some shoes for mom...it was chaos. I was already scared, but the fear in my veins intensified when I saw the blood all over the bathroom. I was then sent outside to watch for the ambulance. The sun was setting, and the sky was a pastel purple color. I looked down the road and saw the flashing lights. They pulled in the driveway and alerted dad. The paramedics, two middle-aged women, somehow managed to get a stretcher through the French doors. I loaded the hospital bag and diaper bag into the car and slipped on some shoes. I looked horrible...hair in my face, sweatpants, bleach-stained T-shirt and flip-flops...I didn't care. I had much more important things to be concerned about other than my appearance. The paramedics came out with mom on the stretcher. While they were opening the back of the ambulance, I walked over to mom and hugged her. Warm tears rolled dowm my face as she squeezed back. "Don't worry sis," she said. "I'm gonna be okay." she kissed me on the forehead. I faked a smile and hugged her again. "I love you," I said in a weak voice. "I love you too Caitiebug, I'll see you at the hospital." I went and got in the car while Dad and the medics loaded mom into the ambulance. I burst into tears and began praying. "Dear God, please let my mom and sister live! I am nothing with out them Lord, please be with them. Please God, please." I wiped my eyes and dad got into the car. We then followed the ambulance all 25 miles to the nearest hospital, Kings Daughters Medical Center.
When we got to the hospital, it was already dark. Dad went in with the medics and mom to get her admitted. I waited for dad to come back, which felt like an eternity. He eventually showed up, and we carried the bags in. I walked back to mom's ER room, which was flooded with people. Nurses, an anesthesiologist, the obstetrician, etc. My sister was going to be born tonight. My dad called my aunt and uncle, Michael and Lisa. I couldn't get ahold of my grandparents, they were out nightfishing. Over the next hour, we got upstairs and they were prepping mom for her C-section. Mom's osbtetrician, Dr. Gordon, was very nice to me. While the were getting the anesthesia to mom, he came in to talk to me. "Would you like to watch TV in one of the empty rooms?" he asked. "Sure," I replied. He lead me to one of the unoccupied rooms, sat down on the edge of the bed and turned the TV on. "Can I get you something to drink? There's Coke, Sunkist, root beer...you should probably drink something, you look like you're about to pass out," he said. "Yes, can I have a root beer please?" I asked shyly. "Sure thing." He smiled and left the room. I sighed and sank down in the bed. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was on Nick-at-Nite. When I glanced at the clock, I was astounded. 10 o'clock already? Dr. Gordon came back in with a can of root beer. "Here ya go," he said. "Thank you," I replied. He sat down in the armchair in the corner. "So, how old are you?" he asked. "I turned 12 last month," I answered. "Ah, I have a son and a daughter. My daughter is just a year younger than you." he said proudly. Just then, my stepdad came in the room, dressed in operation room garb. He was going to go back with mom for the surgery. "So..." he said. "Rough night?" Dr. Gordon asked. "That's an understatement," dad replied. "I understand," the doctor replied. He looked at his watch and stood up. "Well, they should have her numbed up by now...you ready?" he said, looking at dad. "I guess so," he answered. Dr. Gordon looked back at me one last time. "Don't worry, we're gonna take care of your mom and sister." he smiled, and I smiled back.
I sat watching TV and sipping root beer until I saw my aunt, uncle, and cousin Gabriel peek in the doorway. Lisa waved, and I stood up. She hugged me very tightly, and we walked to the maternity ward waiting room. Michael said a prayer for mom and little Marlee. We were the only ones in the waiting room, I was glad. Lisa pulled cherry suckers out of her purse and handed me one. "You want one?" she asked. I thanked her and took the sucker. "These are really good when you dip them in Coke," she said. Me, Lisa and Michael watched the little TV in the waiting room, it was something on the history channel about Nostradamus. Gabe, who was 4 at the time, had fallen asleep in Michael's lap. After a long, painstaking half hour of waiting, eating suckers and watching TV, Dr. Gordon came back with the news.
"Ready to see your little sister?" he asked happily.
I felt an overwhelming sense of relief and happiness. I looked through the window into the nursery, and there she was...my baby sister, Marissa Lee Smith. She was giving them hell...kicking and screaming while they tried to put a diaper on her. I felt little tears of joy welling up as I said "Yep, you're my sister alright." The nurse stepped out with a snapshot of Marlee for me to take to mom. Mom was taken to a recovery room, she hadn't even seen Marlee yet. We went to Mom's room to check on her. She had lost so much blood and was shaking something awful. I handed her the picture and she smiled. She could hardly talk. Michael and Lisa talked to her a bit, and I gave her a hug. Then dad came back and asked if I was ready to finally hold my little sis.
Since she was in NICU (neonatal intensive care) I basically had to take a shower before going back there. I had to scrub my arms with this abrasive sponge all the way to my elbows. I also had to put on a yellow robe. Dad scooped her up out of the isolette and layed her in my arms. I can honestly say that was the happiest I have ever been. Her little hand grasped my finger and she smiled. I felt the tears coming again. I looked down at her and said "Baby girl, if you only knew how loved you are already."
Eventually I had to leave. I was going to stay with Michael and Lisa that night since they lived just across the river. It was 2:30 when we left the hospital. Gabe and Michael were passed out asleep, so me and Lisa made a 3a.m. Taco Bell run. After scarfing down 2 burritos, I flopped down on the couch and went to sleep. I wasn't used to sleeping in the city...the sound of nearby trains, sirens and airplanes harshly lulled me to sleep.
I woke up at 7:30, my grandparents were coming to take me back to the hospital. I was still in the same clothes from the night before. They offered to take me to Wal-Mart and buy some clean clothes, but I didn't want to. I wanted to see my little sister more than anything. I spent pretty much the entire day at the hospital, I didn't want to leave Marlee's side. April 23, 2006 was probably the best day of my life.
It's so hard to believe that was four whole years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. My little sis still means the world to me; she is the main reason I stopped self-injuring. There have been times when she was all I had to hold on to. She listens to what I have to say, and she even shows concern when I cry. Her laughter can a terrible day and just make it wonderful. Needless to say, I love he so so much.
Happy Birthday baby girl! Sissy loves ya! :)
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