4 months today
It's 4 months and I still feel so sad and lonely. I keep hearing "it gets easier" but I haven't seen that yet. I realized again today how much my husband and I connected on a daily basis. He was at work before me so he would call first to "just check in". Then I would call when the kids got home to "just check in". Then we'd have dinner or go out and just be together then off to bed ... and do this again and again for 32 years. We were so lucky. As sad as I feel I'm so glad I had him and his love. Randy really loved me, no matter what. He was my best friend. I would go to him before anyone else. He was my first thought. Now he's still my first thought, all day thought and last thought of the day. He's on my mind all the time, I miss him so much.
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I know how you are feeling. I am so missing my husband. It\'s not the big things I miss, like you it\'s the little things, like checking in with each other. He called be at lunch almost everyday at work. When the phone rings now during lunch, it hurts so bad, because I know it\'s not him. I have no reason for a cell phone now, because no one else called me. It never rings now. Hugs, Kathy
I relate to you both also. We would talke everyday at lunch even before Wayne was home sick. Now I still grab my cell phone at lunch and I don\'t have a clue why. It will be 3 months on the 22nd of this month for us and it still feels like yesterday. Love you was said every morning, every night and a 100 times in between even after 20yrs. I miss that, I miss him telling me that and him telling me be safe on my way to work and to remember to call him at lunch time, like I ever would forget :o) but it was nice hearing that. Like you both said, it\'s the little things that you miss even the annoying little things I miss :o) I know what you mean by \"it gets easier\" I kind of am tiring of them words rather quickly. I hear it from many, even those that have been here before me, and I know they are speaking from experience and I know some day it might but as of right now I don\'t feel it. I wish you both strength and the thought of happy memories to get through each day. Hugs
I understand how you feel. It will be 4 months for me next week. When I went to see my doctor, she told me when her mother lost her father it took her 3 years before it \"got easier\" and then there was still an emptiness that she learned to live with. I don\'t want to be a downer, just passing along what she said. We spoke on the cell all the time. Always checking in with each other. I also know what you mean about not needing a cell anymore. Mine never rings. Used to ring all the time when he was alive. Last year when he got really ill and had to move out of our bedroom, he moved into the next room. Our bedroom was a converted porch so there was a window opening between the room. Even after he was settled and we had kissed goodnight, we always said goodnight one more time and said I love you. I still do that. I cannot express the ache I have all the time because he is physically not here. I guess we just have to hang in there. BIG HUGS - Sandy
Dawn, well said. I also have the first, middle and last thought about her every day and was very blessed to have had her. Kip.
Dawn....I agree with you too. Bear is still in my thoughts constantly. I am almost at the 6 month mark, and nothing is easier. I think it is called survival. We just keep plugging along with a deep sadness that no one can see and only we can feel. Hang in there.....Nancy
Dawn...your are so right..my husband would call me to wake me up each morning and then we would talk on my drive into work..we called each other several times a day and some people at work would make fun of me saying things like can\'t you talk to him when you get home but I am so happy now that we use to talk some much. Even after he was to sick to work he would wake me up with a cup of coffee every morning..now I wake up to a alarm clock..how I miss him and all the little things...
Randy will always be on your mind. He was the center of your universe. Four months is still so early. The pain of loss does not end suddenly. My experience has simply been that I have had some better days.
It will be 3 yrs since I lost Dan (Jan 23) and I still think of him all the time, but as \"Catkin\" says there are better days. After we were with them for so long, how could we suddenly let them go. You are early on in your loss, try to take it one day at a time. You will have some days that are better. My heart goes out to you. Sue