4 months
4 months since hubby was taken into custody.
4 months-bought a new car, seeing to my aging parents three times, managing to ensure that all of the bills get paid, keep paying the rent, keep 2 roomates, maintain 2 jobs, and I'm still sane?
When will it be my turn to have a nervous breakdown?
God is in charge and somehow, He's keeping me sane and strong. I'm tired, though. Need a vacation. When my husband is released, going to take a week off and just be with him. Sleep late, enjoy his arms around me in bed, and just relish the fact that he's home.
Our home is more than 2000 feet from the nearest school and daycare-so, if he's a level 3, we are okay. If he is a level two, well, then we have nothing to worry about.
My father in law's step son, who is 37, had a psychotic break Monday last, and is now walking around with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. He's a big guy, over 200 lbs, and when he has his violent rages, the cops have to be called. Sometimes he refuses to take his medications. When that happens, the cops get called. I worry about their safety. Father in law is 68, wife is 65 and living with rheumatoid arthritis and still working because she has two adult sons living in their home and they have to be fed. Shit.
So, coping with a lot right now-aging parents that either get sick or fall, a husband in prison, a step brother in law that has flown the cuckoos nest, and I'm having to survive on my own. DAMN! I've never felt more loss of control-life is out of control, and it's making me crazy on the inside.
When will I get to have my nervous breakdown? This Saturday, his dad and I are driving down to Tucker minimum to see my husband for the first time in six weeks. I know that the water works will pour profusely when I see him and hug him for the first time in 4 months. Hell, tears roll as I type.
I'm glad I have a space here where I can be vulnerable without judgement.
I'll be 49 in a week and a half......going to meet up with a friend and have cupcakes and margaritas when I'm visiting my parents.
4 months-bought a new car, seeing to my aging parents three times, managing to ensure that all of the bills get paid, keep paying the rent, keep 2 roomates, maintain 2 jobs, and I'm still sane?
When will it be my turn to have a nervous breakdown?
God is in charge and somehow, He's keeping me sane and strong. I'm tired, though. Need a vacation. When my husband is released, going to take a week off and just be with him. Sleep late, enjoy his arms around me in bed, and just relish the fact that he's home.
Our home is more than 2000 feet from the nearest school and daycare-so, if he's a level 3, we are okay. If he is a level two, well, then we have nothing to worry about.
My father in law's step son, who is 37, had a psychotic break Monday last, and is now walking around with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. He's a big guy, over 200 lbs, and when he has his violent rages, the cops have to be called. Sometimes he refuses to take his medications. When that happens, the cops get called. I worry about their safety. Father in law is 68, wife is 65 and living with rheumatoid arthritis and still working because she has two adult sons living in their home and they have to be fed. Shit.
So, coping with a lot right now-aging parents that either get sick or fall, a husband in prison, a step brother in law that has flown the cuckoos nest, and I'm having to survive on my own. DAMN! I've never felt more loss of control-life is out of control, and it's making me crazy on the inside.
When will I get to have my nervous breakdown? This Saturday, his dad and I are driving down to Tucker minimum to see my husband for the first time in six weeks. I know that the water works will pour profusely when I see him and hug him for the first time in 4 months. Hell, tears roll as I type.
I'm glad I have a space here where I can be vulnerable without judgement.
I'll be 49 in a week and a half......going to meet up with a friend and have cupcakes and margaritas when I'm visiting my parents.
Replies
Did you ever hear that old joke about having a nervous break down? \"I worked for it, I earned it, and as soon as things calm down around here I\'m going to demand they let me have time off to have one!!!\" Enjoy your royally f**ked-up life Cup-cake. If I remember right, 49 is a very good year! Take care, we are all here for you. JanetMackie
ROFLMAO!!!!
It is amazing what we can handle when we have to. I have been in this now for over 3 years and have learned a lot about myself. Handled things i never thought i would have to, but proud to know that i can.
I know the when can i have my nervous breakdown - i could use one. I need a break from reality even if temporary.
Hang in there. Enjoy your visit with your husband. Let the tears flow. I know is till cry when i have to leave him and go home after 3 years of this. It gets easier with time. Just enjoy your visit