4 Days Until Christmas!!!!!
I wish all of us moms the energy we need to get through the holidays. For me this year I have my daughter and her husband home with me. They drove to NJ this weekend to pick up their pup which they have been waiting 8 weeks for..It is a black lab they are naming her Zoey. I still have lots of things to do and I am in a SLOW, STOP, NO get up and go feeling mode. Erica moved back in October until they get deployed for their next assignment or whatever the Airforce calls it. 2 and a half months and I am totally drained.. It is hard to think that I am at the age to say, WOW I am NO young chic anymore. I must admit I can't keep up like I use to. Maybe this is a test for me to realize who I am and how far I can go. We must know our limitations, You Think! LOL
My SIL Robin just called me and wants me to make strawberry's short cake for Christmas Eve, which I usually make for every holiday event. Lan's sister and parents have a house on Seabrook Beach NH, which is only 15 minutes away from where we live. It is a private beach and it is probably the nicest beach in NH..I feel blessed having in-laws on the ocean. Also Robin told me one of their male friends dropped dead last night, his wife and children come to their own beach house every summer. So she is all stressed right now. Last week my 52 yr old male friend passed away from having a seizure..Hearing all this made me get my blood pumping to get up, put my big girl panties on and start enjoying the holidays, it will be over Thursday, in 5 days ONE DAY at a time, it will be over that hump, by the way Christmas is on Wednesday "HUMP DAY" So think about that Camel walking around in the insurance office say that,lol, positive thinking can give us the energy to make it through...It took me a long time to come to terms with positive thinking when my Ryan first left this earth.. NO WAY COULD I UNDERSTAND How people could think positive after losing my Son Ryan...I remember one of my woman costumers who I was cutting her hair every 6 weeks, She lost a Son at age 37 years ago, and I would ask her how did she make it without him, her answer everytime was "STAY POSITIVE". That's all she would say and it would piss me off inside coz that would be her answer everytime I saw her.. She was in her 80's and sense then has passed herself. So she now is with her husband and son in heaven.. One of my other lady customer who was in her 80's lost her 16 yr old daughter and her answer was "life is only for the living" That was all. At that time I was pissed off at these little sayings from my elderly clients, NOW I realize they were already past it and are at the age of wisdom to put it as simple as that. It really helps me when I talk to the elderly, it helps me realize death is different when we are at their age and we need to live life exactly as what they both said in simple terms, "THINK POSTIVE and LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING!! HUH!!
Anyway life is a struggle, everyday is a new day and these are the quotes I need to here on a daily basis. I am getting off this computer to start my day, its 11:00am. I'm better in the late morning getting myself ready to start my day on a positive note, coz life is for the living..
I am thinking of all my newest friend moms, I am praying for You all to get through these holidays knowing your child is with you trying to let you know they are happy and hoping YOU can feel their beautiful spirit around you, they don't want you to feel sad.. I try to look at it as if I was the one in heaven and seeing my son sad, it would hurt me so bad to see that they can't hear me or feel my spirit my presence of being beside them.. TRY TO Think in those positive ways, it will give you that little bit of energy you need to get through it. Everytime you sit back down think of it again and again until you make it through. You will be Amazed how it works...Love you all as my SOTH, Sisters Of The Heart! WE ALL NEED EACH OTHER, WHO ELSE UNDERSTANDS BETTER THEN US? I know regular people who haven't been through it just doesn't cut it for me, I mention Ryan's name every so often and they have No response, SO SAVE YOUR ENERGY FOR US MOMS WHO UNDERSTAND.. Love & Heart to Heart Hugs! They are the best!!!! XXOO Kelly
My SIL Robin just called me and wants me to make strawberry's short cake for Christmas Eve, which I usually make for every holiday event. Lan's sister and parents have a house on Seabrook Beach NH, which is only 15 minutes away from where we live. It is a private beach and it is probably the nicest beach in NH..I feel blessed having in-laws on the ocean. Also Robin told me one of their male friends dropped dead last night, his wife and children come to their own beach house every summer. So she is all stressed right now. Last week my 52 yr old male friend passed away from having a seizure..Hearing all this made me get my blood pumping to get up, put my big girl panties on and start enjoying the holidays, it will be over Thursday, in 5 days ONE DAY at a time, it will be over that hump, by the way Christmas is on Wednesday "HUMP DAY" So think about that Camel walking around in the insurance office say that,lol, positive thinking can give us the energy to make it through...It took me a long time to come to terms with positive thinking when my Ryan first left this earth.. NO WAY COULD I UNDERSTAND How people could think positive after losing my Son Ryan...I remember one of my woman costumers who I was cutting her hair every 6 weeks, She lost a Son at age 37 years ago, and I would ask her how did she make it without him, her answer everytime was "STAY POSITIVE". That's all she would say and it would piss me off inside coz that would be her answer everytime I saw her.. She was in her 80's and sense then has passed herself. So she now is with her husband and son in heaven.. One of my other lady customer who was in her 80's lost her 16 yr old daughter and her answer was "life is only for the living" That was all. At that time I was pissed off at these little sayings from my elderly clients, NOW I realize they were already past it and are at the age of wisdom to put it as simple as that. It really helps me when I talk to the elderly, it helps me realize death is different when we are at their age and we need to live life exactly as what they both said in simple terms, "THINK POSTIVE and LIFE IS FOR THE LIVING!! HUH!!
Anyway life is a struggle, everyday is a new day and these are the quotes I need to here on a daily basis. I am getting off this computer to start my day, its 11:00am. I'm better in the late morning getting myself ready to start my day on a positive note, coz life is for the living..
I am thinking of all my newest friend moms, I am praying for You all to get through these holidays knowing your child is with you trying to let you know they are happy and hoping YOU can feel their beautiful spirit around you, they don't want you to feel sad.. I try to look at it as if I was the one in heaven and seeing my son sad, it would hurt me so bad to see that they can't hear me or feel my spirit my presence of being beside them.. TRY TO Think in those positive ways, it will give you that little bit of energy you need to get through it. Everytime you sit back down think of it again and again until you make it through. You will be Amazed how it works...Love you all as my SOTH, Sisters Of The Heart! WE ALL NEED EACH OTHER, WHO ELSE UNDERSTANDS BETTER THEN US? I know regular people who haven't been through it just doesn't cut it for me, I mention Ryan's name every so often and they have No response, SO SAVE YOUR ENERGY FOR US MOMS WHO UNDERSTAND.. Love & Heart to Heart Hugs! They are the best!!!! XXOO Kelly
Replies
\"WE ALL NEED EACH OTHER, WHO ELSE UNDERSTANDS BETTER THEN US? \"
Amen Sister!
Enjoy your Daughter\'s company this holiday Kelly.
Terry
A lot of wisdom here, Kelly--thank you for sharing this with us! I have found that many long bereaved Moms, because they know nobody \"gets it\" unless they are in the clubcan be kinda quick and short with their answers. I think perhaps, some got tired out from trying (early on) to get people to understand that CAN\'T understand...When they finally find balance again, they tend to be very brief with their responses. Love to you and Ryan, Donna
Loving care and always feeling that big, BEAUTIFUL heart of yours dearest Kelly.
Can\'t wait to hear about the new pup... A healer with four paws is joining your family and hope your family time unfolds as it needs to.
Always missing your Ryan and including him in all your gatherings. I don\'t think they want to miss out on anything!
Wishing you a blessed holiday filled with all good things and don\'t get too tired. Part of our path is honoring that we can\'t nor do we want to have to \"DO\" all that we did in the past. Simplify, simplify, simplify is my mode of BE-ing now and it feels really great.
Hoping your strawberry shortcake is a hit and feeling the LOVE!
With love and a tight heart (((hug)))
XO Joanie
I\'m so behind, we\'ll not really, I always shop on the 24th, don\'t feel up to it this year. I\'m trying sweet woman and your journal will hopefully spark my get up and go. I love you and Ryan, lit a special candle at mass for him on the 20th. Lit one for all of our angels too. Hoping your family Christmas is everything you need, I\'m dreading it. For some reason I just can\'t get into it this year. Spread your love, wishing I could hug and cry with you in person. I will take your positive thoughts with me, thank you for holding my hand and lifting me up!
We are so blessed to have each other. It is still a struggle but it is so much easier with our SOTH.
We are definitely all different. It is not yet 10 am and our dinner is half done! We are having guests. I peter out later in the day so do all I can as early as I can.
Your journal is so inspiring. Our outlook changes as we gain wisdom.
I am rambling but you know what it is like!
Wishing you energy, love and peace.
Hugs, Marlene
I\'m so glad I\'m not the only one whose get up and go is not only zero, but more in reverse, these days..
I love you Kelly! I could \"hear\" your voice as I read this WHEW.....It is okay now, huh? I got you babe.
Peace.
What a beautiful journal!! I could just feel your every thought as I also read it. I am not very good with words and I don\'t journal much. I just try and get thru these holidays for my granddaughters, and daughter. Most of the time people don\'t ask how I am doing any more. I guess they assume it has been 8 years and I should \"be over\" it by now. I just hope they never have to face what I and all the Moms here have to face on a daily basis. I hope for you a peaceful holidays.
Nell
That was just a great journal. So true the elderly have been through it all by 80, there attitude is one of accptance (you can only go through life pissed off for so long) then you drop dead. Better to enjoy the time you have left. I really think old people are very wise. I have no family at all just my sister. and I have been sick (had surgery 7 weeks agoo) My emplants ruptured. 4 hr. operation. I hate these holidays miss my Roz so much. Bless your special angel. hugs and love Mary ann. And Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.