4.3.16
Yesterday I feel like I made a little bit of progress. I was challenged and tested by the things that would have caused me to lie an I over come them. I was leaving my boyfriend house and I though I saw my ex walking down the street. Something inside of me seem like I knew it was him but I could not be for sure b/c I could not see his face. So I called my dad and was just talking to him for a little bit. After like a minute or so my dad stated that he talked to this same ex. My dad stated that my ex tried to call me to get this paper for a house we lived in together signed.
Side note I just recently got my number changed b/c of the past making me feel like I had to lie.. So I got my number changed for a real new start of the new me.
So my dad suggested that I call him so I can sign the paper.. I told my dad no and told him to tell my ex that is he wants it signed he can mail it and I will mail it back..
The progress came from me telling my boyfriend this when the way I used to behave I would have hidden it as if I did something wrong by thinking that I saw him and what my dad stated was somehow my fault but that is something I don't have control over and is not my fault so there is no reason for me to hide it.
Long story short I told my boyfriend something I would have normally tried to hide for no reason.
Also today I went to church for the 1st time in a log time. It felt really good and I decided to join the church. This will be even more support I need to keep up my journey to not be a liar like I used to be.
Side note I just recently got my number changed b/c of the past making me feel like I had to lie.. So I got my number changed for a real new start of the new me.
So my dad suggested that I call him so I can sign the paper.. I told my dad no and told him to tell my ex that is he wants it signed he can mail it and I will mail it back..
The progress came from me telling my boyfriend this when the way I used to behave I would have hidden it as if I did something wrong by thinking that I saw him and what my dad stated was somehow my fault but that is something I don't have control over and is not my fault so there is no reason for me to hide it.
Long story short I told my boyfriend something I would have normally tried to hide for no reason.
Also today I went to church for the 1st time in a log time. It felt really good and I decided to join the church. This will be even more support I need to keep up my journey to not be a liar like I used to be.
Replies
Wow. Britt you should be so proud. Those are things I still struggle with today. Things that are out of my control, and I don\'t want my husband to be upset with me over them, so I would always feel compelled to lie. I haven\'t lied to him about anything since Feb. 1st but the compulsion can still be there...I think it always will be.
Going to church has been a big help for me too. Helps me remember that even if my husband doesn\'t love me any more, God does.
1Cor1378 don\'t get me wrong it is still hard am lot of times but I am definitely focusing on that to make sure I don\'t hide it because that\'s lying to. I just tell myself I did nothing wrong.
And your husband will slowly start to see it. He most likely is just really really hurt still. Somewhere deep down he still loves you just keep showing him the new you and It will get better.
My boyfriend laughed and smiled with me for the first time in awhile and it felt great. I know he still cares he is just still really hurt from what I did and the lies. We just go one day at a time and I show him the new me everyday and it will one day be better and that\'s what I hold on to and look forward to.
Just keep being the new great you.