Update

Hello. I haven't been here for about a year. Some people here were kind to me but others were not so nice. So I left. I have come back to tell you that I am now divorced from my abuser. He is not allowed to come anywhere near me as I now have a restraining order in place. He was given a supervised community order and probation. He has also been tagged. 
life has been hard and I am still receiving councilling. I carry a panic alarm with me which the police gave me. 
I still get days when I'm down but I am much happier on my own now. I am finding it better not not have him controlling my every move. I have nobody to answer to anymore. 
I actually am a better person now. I don't miss him anymore. To me he is out of my life and I feel nothing for him no more.
i get lonely but my work occupies my days. Evenings can be lonely. 
I do not want another man in my life. And I will not be looking for one. I do not need a man .