12/19/07 8:54 pm ESTI've been trying to keep my upbeat disposition but its getting hard lately.  I went to my doctor about 3 weeks ago about some disturbing symptoms and things my coworker has noticed like sitting in front of my computer just staring.  She would call to me and I didn't respond.  Another cowork said the I did the same thing a few times when she worked with me.  Recently, I blanked out for a couple of seconds while driving and when I came back I found the car had started to drift towards the oncoming lane.  Thus, an appointment with my doctor.  He asked dozens upon dozens of questions and ultimately, he feels I have a seizure disorder (just a not so scary way of saying epilepsy).  He sent me to a neurologist/neurophysiologist who, after dozens upon dozens of further questioning, agrees with my primary doctor but won't finalize the diagnosis until after my bloodwork, carotid doppler, EEG and MRI of my brain come back with reports.  So, I see him again on January 2nd.  In the meantime, I am forbidden to drive.  My first reaction was shock, then I got angry and then I got weepy.  Now, I'm trying to get educated.  If this is epilepsy, or whatever it is, I want to learn everything I can and then take action.  My boss's and coworker's reaction was "Oh no!  This is terrible!" or essentially the same thing.   One friend's reaction was to ask alot of questions to understand what happens to me and then said "I'll keep praying for you--keep me up-to-date".  Another friend's reaction was to find out what is happening to me, how I feel about it and then she told me that it's okay to feel that way right now.  She said I'll probably feel a little better once I can get definite answers from my doctor and if it is epilepsy, he'll probably medicate me and I'll be fine.  Her friend's husband was diagnosed with it also and the meds are working well for him and he's allowed to drive again.  This is essentially what the neurologist said.  My friends are so good.  My boss and coworker are too--they just didn't know how to take it at first--it was a blow to them too.  But they are very supportive and pick up my slack if I need to take time for appointments or a couple of times I felt like the walls were moving and couldn't go in.  The after effects of the seizures have been affecting my ability to work efficiently at times.  I'm left with clouded thinking and I'm exhausted for hours or even into the next day.  Well, at least I know that there is definitely something behind my feeling this way at times.  I find I am cranky a bit more often than usual.  The headaches are back on a regular basis again.  So, is it that I've entered menopause and beyond now that this is getting more intense?  I'm saying more intense because I remember that although I got good grades in elementary school, the teachers complained that I was a daydreamer.  I knew I daydreamed occasionally but not enough for them to complain.  My mom also complained that at times I would occasionally stare at the TV and not respond to her calling me.  I guess it was happening even then but not enough for anyone to think something was wrong--kids daydream.  Another thing that has happened once in a blue moon since the mid 80's is occasionally I smell something that smells like burnt plastic or burnt rubber.  It's there for a minute or two and then gone.  No one else smells it.   It's happened twice in the last 4 to 6 weeks.  I need answers.