Another day

Ok, it’s another day. Things are moving right along. Had a difficult day on Monday balancing the books and closing the month out at work. There always seem to be a problem. It’s always different and challenging, but as always the problem was found and dealt with.  I’m doing better at home by myself. Some days take a little more effort then others. I had a few crying spurts here and there, but nothing that last more then a few seconds at any time. I hate that weak side of myself; tears have never solved anything for me, but make my eyes red. I guess it reminds me no matter how strong I try to be, I am only human.  I’ve been working at trying to make some new friends and get out of this house. I’ll never understand. I get along with everyone, but I seem to have a difficult time finding people who want to just talk and have a good time together. Just friends to go places and do things with. Everyone seems to want to just rush into everything, and though I have been guilty of this myself, I have found myself almost regretting that I did so. Almost being the key word, but I think I am back in control of myself again. Just needed to get it out of my system.  I can’t help but wonder if my approaching new people is just off some how. I am for the most part pretty happy, confident, and honest almost to a fault at times. Maybe the ask me and I will tell you the truth should be eliminated from my vocabulary for a bit. I have talked to people on line, and have met up with a few of them for coffee, lunch, dinner, etc. I don’t understand how I can have such a wonderful conversation and when we meet the person wants just one thing and one thing only. I have been guilty, as I have said, but just once. I really have let these people know that isn’t who I am. Well maybe it is, but not when I don’t know them, when I have only talked to them for a few hours on the phone or a few e-mails. It’s sort of disappointing, but I keep pushing forward.  I started working on myself a bit more. Went to the grocery store the other day and bought all the good foods I should be eating and tossed out the rest. My doctor tells me I haven’t been losing weight because I skip so many meals or don’t eat at all. I will never understand that, but it’s working. I have been eating three balanced meals a day and have dropped a few pounds already. I have a blow flex set up in my bedroom. Going to see if I can get one of my friends to help me move it downstairs so I can get myself in better shape. Hell summer is coming, need to be able to get into a swimming suit. Just like people, there are things I just don’t understand and it makes no sense to me at all. Then its time to get the front garden looking ship shape. That will be my project for next weekend. I love buying flowers!!!!