I had a good day. No drugs of any kind that the doctor prescribed and I made it on my own. I did good at work, maybe not my best, but better then most people that work there do. I was a little upset with them because they are planning on sending me back to PA, but no one bothered to make the reservations, so now its going to cost the company a ton of money, double of what it would have normally cost them to send me. Here I am going though whatever I am going though and they couldn't get their shit together enough to make the reservations. If I don't go it could cost a lot of people their jobs and now they are worried about an additional $700. What is wrong with this world???Personally I am having a huge problem that I don't understand at all. I am scared to leave the house. When I do I'm fine, but when I start on my way back home the fear hits me again. I am ok once I open the door, turn off the alarm, pet and fed the dogs, turn on the TV, and some lights, but this has been happening to me every time since my husband has passed. Does anyone understand this?
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Your house is your comfort zone mate,its where you feel safe,because you feel your man there.And maybe he passed when u were gone from the house it makes you uneasy!
I am with you. I can\'t stand to leave home. The hardest part is getting out the door, and then I am o.k for a bit. However, I can\'t stay gone for long. I think it\'s because at home we can be ourselves. We don\'t have to pain on a face, we feel safe, and we have tons of memories there of our loved ones that we have lost. It\'s the only explanation I can come up with. Love & hugs my friend. Here for you always.
Candice
I understand quite well. Its scary to leave the house and scary to come back home. But like you said its ok once you do each. Just one of those crazy things we feel as part of our grief. Trust me, you\'re not losing it. I\'m scared to even read my early journal articles because every day was crazy and I didn\'t know which end was up those first three months. Its all a blur now and I remember it more like a dream. All I know is I was horrified and everything was totally crazy. Thats all normal. You\'re doing ok. Just try to get through each new day and give it a lot of time. Its a long, hard road. I will be here for you as will all of us. You will never be alone. As for the trip, it just might do you some good. I know the horror that happened the last trip will be with you but getting away for a few days just might actually help. Wish I could go with you. Keep holding on and take one day at a time. Big hugs to you.
I\'ve been experiencing the same feeling...this agoraphobia. To make matters worse, my mom feigns the feeling, which really kind of pisses me off because I actually have it. She\'s always like, \"Why don\'t you go out with your friends, today?\" Ugh. Sorry. I don\'t have any advice on this topic, unfortunately. If you get some, please fill me in. Like someone said above, though, it\'s your comfort zone. Anxiety can cause some insane effects. Perhaps, you\'re afraid something will happen while you\'re away, either to you or someone else.. Sorry for that random venting. I\'m more angry at her than I realize everytime I think about it. You will be in my prayers. I feel for you. :)