Today was tough, I only got out of bed becasue I had a cramp in my leg. By the time I got rid of it I was wide awake. I managed to fill another trash dumpter full with more of my husbands crap. I have had one call from a friend today, but he is married with his own problems, so its sort of hard to just dump stuff on him. I haven't received one call from family members saying happy new years. I  hadn't eaten all day, but hate cooking for myself, so I went to a little Mexican bar down the street, Had a drink an a little food, and cussed my husband out all the way home that he had left me all alone. Thank god for my dogs, they are the only thing keeping me going right now. I have just never felt so totally alone in my life as I do now. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow. I keep wonderiing if he can put me on disability for just a few weeks so I can somehow find myself, but they it is our busiest time of yer at work and they really need me. I just don't feel that my work is up to par right now. I don't j=know what to do at thos point.